- The Four Types of Human Behavior and Hoe to Effectively Communicate with Each in Business (and in Life)

- The idiots who surround you are, in fact, not idiots at all. Instead, they are individuals worthy of respect, understanding, and being valued.

- DISA—an acronym that stands for Dominance, Inducement, Submission, and Analytic ability—system. The world’s most widely used method to describe the differences in human communication.

- This system is also commonly called the DISC system, where the final letter of the acronym stands for Compliance instead of Analytic ability.

- Communication happens on the listener's terms

- Everything you say to a person is filtered through his frames of reference, biases, and preconceived ideas. What remains is ultimately the message that he understands. For many different reasons, he can interpret what you want to convey in a totally different way than you intended. What is actually understood will, naturally, vary depending on who you are speaking to, but it is very rare that the entire message gets through exactly as you conceived it in your mind.

- No matter what method you choose to communicate with, as an individual, you will always be in the minority. No matter what kind of behavior you have, the majority of people around you will function differently from you. You can’t just base your method of communication on your own preferences. Flexibility and the ability to interpret other people’s needs is what characterizes a good communicator.

- You’re fine no matter how you’re wired. No matter how you choose to behave, no matter how you are perceived, you are fine. Within reasonable limits, of course.

- Every person reacts in a habitual manner in similar situations. But it’s impossible to predict every possible reaction before it happens.

- We often react in consistent patterns. Therefore, we should respect one another’s patterns. And understand our own.

- We should learn to listen, act, speak openly, and reflect in order to do what is relevant right now. Everyone can adapt.

- We should be able to observe and consider most forms of behavior without being amateur psychologists. Everyone can take note of the people around them.

- Dismiss personal jealousy and complaints. Learn to have tolerance and patience, both with yourself and with others.

- Children learn and develop in multiple ways, but the most common is by imitation. A child mimics what he sees around him, the parent of the same sex often becoming the model for imitation.

- The DISA is on a grid. X axis is introver/passive/reserved to extrovert/active/implementer. Y axis is task-oriented and issue-oriented to relation-oriented.

- Blue is analytical. Slow reaction, maximum effort to organize, minimal interest in relationships, historical time frame, cautious action, tendency to avoid involvment

- Red is dominant. Quick reaction, maximum effort to control, minimal interest for caution in relationships, current time frame, direct action, tendency to avoid involvement

- Green is stable. Calm reaction, maximum effort for connection, minimal interest in change, current time frame, supportive action, tendency to reject conflict

- Yellow is inspiring. Rapid reaction, maximum effort to involve, minimal interest in routine, future time frame, impulsive action, tendency to reject isolation

- Reds are natural leaders, take initiative, have big goals, and believe in themselves.

- Reds talk the loudest, love competition, and are judgmental

- Reds are very determined to succeed if the task is important enough.

- Reds do not conceal themselves. They say whatever is true.

- Reds intentions are never malicious, they just want to win.

- Red work very hard, make quick decisions, and don't do anything they don't want to do.

- Yellows are happy, well-liked, and make decisions based on gut.

- Yellows have the most friends, are curious, keep in touch with everyone, and get FOMO

- Yellows are optimistic and enthusiastic.

- Yellows are creative, solution-oriented

- Yellows are all about relationships.

- Greens are the most common and are the average of all the other colors.

- Greens are calm, leisurely, and easygoing.

- Greens won't forget birthdays, won't take the spotlight, won't try to outdo you, and will never pester you with new and drastic demands.

- Greens will not offend people if they can avoid it.

- Green people are kindness personified. They are great listeners. They are team players.

- Greens don't like change, but they will change if you justify the change and give them enough time.

- Greens can get taken advantage of.

- Greens do what they say they are going to do.

- Greens are controlled by their desire to make those around them happy and satisfied. They also don't like conflict.

- Hire Greens. They will do the job well. They don't have problems taking orders—as long as the orders are formulated in an appealing fashion.

- Greens enjoy stability and a certain predictability.

- Greens are great at keeping calm and carrying on.

- Greens always put the team or group before self.

- It's difficult to get a straight answer from a Green because they are always trying to satisfy everyone else.

- Everyone else is more important. A Green never asks for anything.

- Yellows don't listen at all.

- Reds only listen when there is something to be gained from it.

- Greens are great listeners.

- Blues are a pessimist or realist. He sees errors and he sees risks.

- Blues are reserved, analytical, and detail-oriented.

- Blues just do their job and aren't worried about recognition.

- Blue don't have a hard time making decisions, they just like the trip more than the destination.

- Blues don't like taking risk.

- Toyota has a policy that you must always ask “why” five times to ensure quality and get to the heart of the issue.

- Blues are perfectionists and obsessed about quality.

- Blues find it difficult to lie. They are open about faults.

- Blues are calm and balanced because they keep tabs on everything.

- Blues are introverts, they don't feel the need to be heard, they are active and thoughtful on the inside, being silent is something positive.

- Blue are all logic, rationaliy, and intellect.

- “Just because you're right, I don't have to be wrong.”

- No one is perfect.

- Communication usually takes place on the recipient's terms.

- Good qualities can become drawbacks in the wrong circumstances, no matter what the quality is.

- Reds are quick and more than happy to take command if needed. They make things happen. However, when they get going, they become control freaks and can be hopeless to deal with. And they repeatedly trample on people’s toes.

- Yellows can be amusing, creative, and elevate the mood regardless of who they’re with. However, when they are given unlimited space, they will consume all the oxygen in the room, they won’t allow anyone into a conversation, and their stories will reflect reality less and less.

- The friendly Greens are easy to hang out with because they are so pleasant and genuinely care for others. Unfortunately, they can be too wishy-washy and unclear. Anyone who never takes a stand eventually becomes difficult to handle. You don’t know where they really stand, and indecision kills the energy in other people.

- The analytical Blues are calm, levelheaded, and think before they speak. Their ability to keep a cool head is undoubtedly an enviable quality for all who aren’t capable of doing that. However, Blues’ critical thinking can easily turn to suspicion and questioning those around them. Everything can become suspect and sinister.

- Reds and Yellows tend to inflate their strengths and believe that they have no weaknesses. They have powerful egos, and a great part of their success can probably be attributed to the fact that they don’t get bogged down in faults and shortcomings but instead look for opportunities and good news. Clearly, this can’t be maintained over time.

- Conversely, Greens and Blues usually exaggerate their weaknesses and in certain cases even ignore their strengths. The consequences are clear. When you give positive feedback to a Green or a Blue, they sometimes appear to be immune to it and change the subject to something that went seriously wrong. Obviously, this is highly unproductive.

- Some people say that Reds are just belligerent, arrogant, and egotistical. They are perceived as unyielding, impatient, aggressive, and controlling.

- Reds are more task oriented than relationship oriented.

- Reds know just as well as everyone else that it’s wrong to break the rules; however, since it’s quicker that way, they do it anyway. Reds are notorious rule breakers.

- Reds have no problem taking one or two shortcuts, as long as it’s about getting things done.

- The desire for control is a phenomenon where an individual needs to have power over a situation in which either groups or individuals are present. Those who have control needs often feel extremely uneasy about having to adapt themselves to a group or a situation and will eagerly come up with various strategies to avoid this. A common form of behavior is to talk constantly, interrupting and ignoring others, in order to maintain control over the conversation.

- Reds can probably be perceived as extremely overbearing, but it’s important to note they are interested in controlling those around them, but not in controlling every specific detail of a situation.

- It is important for a Red to feel that he can influence what people do and how they intend to act on certain specific issues.

- At the heart of this need for control is a belief that they know more than anyone else. And because a Red feels he knows best, he will keep tabs on everyone around him to ensure that they all do the right thing. The advantage for a Red is that he gets everything done his way. The disadvantage is obvious: everyone else feels controlled. Some people think it’s a good thing when someone else makes the decisions and holds the baton, but others feel limited and just want to escape.

- Red means fast; Blue means high quality in implementation.

- A Red’s “I” message occupies their minds. (They share this trait with Yellows, who also have strong egos.)

- We know that being solitary is not the same thing as being strong, that we need one another to survive. Cooperation is the model, and I’ve preached this for over two decades. So we think it’s egotistic when Reds speak only about themselves. They make sure to help themselves before helping others. They are often willing to trample on someone else if they see an opportunity to advance themselves. They may not do this consciously, but the effect is the same.

- Reds often come out the winners in discussions. They see this as a natural part of a conversation. They always know best and will assert that everyone else is wrong. It suits their ego to behave this way. The aftermath of this method is that they lose friends, people can dislike them, and they are cut off from information because no one wants them in the group. Once they’ve noticed this, they may well just decide that all the other people are idiots.

- Reds are the ones who always believe they are surrounded by idiots.

- It’s especially fun to ask the Blues. They will say that Yellows are selfish, superficial, and overly self-confident. Someone else will say that they talk too much and are bad listeners. Combine that with the observation that they can be distracted and careless.

- When a Yellow hears these comments, one of two things can happen. Either he gets deeply distressed and genuinely hurt, or he sets off a ferocious argument. It depends. What’s striking is that, over time, none of this criticism will really torment a Yellow very much. On the one hand, he’s a bad listener, and on the other hand, he has what some psychologists might call a selective memory. He simply forgets the difficult bits, and with his positive ethos he finds it easy to say to himself that he doesn’t have any faults or shortcomings.

- Yellows are very good communicators. With an emphasis on “very.” None of the other colors come close to the Yellows’ ease in finding words, expressing themselves, and telling a story. It comes so easily, so simply, so effortlessly, that you can’t help being impressed.

- Yellows, especially those without self-awareness, don’t have such a limit. It would never even occur to them to wrap up; if they have something to say, out it comes. The fact that no one else thinks it’s important is neither here nor there.

- A Yellow behaves exactly like most people—he does what he’s good at. And he is good at talking.

- Many people become hugely frustrated by this limitless verbosity. It’s often perceived as egocentrism. The terms “windbag,” “verbal diarrhea,” and “motormouth” were more than likely coined with Yellows in mind.

- Yellows have no problems delivering opinions, views, and advice regardless of whether they know anything about the subject or not. A Yellow has a generous approach to his own ability—when an idea pops up in his head, he simply opens his mouth.

- What Yellows share is often completely unprocessed material that just tumbles out of the big opening on their faces. Sure, it might be well thought out, but it’s usually not. What’s most deceptive is that, almost without exception, it sounds very good. Yellows know a thing or two about presenting an idea so that it always sounds fantastic. If you’re unfamiliar with this particular person, you may very well take everything he says as true—a serious mistake.

- Very often a Yellow is both entertaining and inspiring, and as I said, they can inspire people to new ideas. But should you get into a conversation with a Yellow, you need to be observant so that when he catches his breath you can quickly insert a comment. Or simply close the meeting.

- A Yellow would hardly admit that he’s careless. But he has no natural way to keep track of things. He finds working in a structured way boring. Then you have to fit the mold and follow the template. If there is anything that Yellows avoid, it’s feeling controlled by fixed systems.

- The solution is to keep everything in your head, which doesn’t work. It’s not possible to remember everything. So inevitably the Yellow forgets and those around him think he’s careless. Missed appointments, forgotten deadlines, and half-finished projects all because once his mind has finished the task he doesn’t go backwards. He goes forward. Leaps to the next project. Deals with other things.

- Details. To complete a project, you usually need to be precise about details. Yellows don’t like keeping track of details. I would even venture to say that they’re not interested in details. They paint with broad strokes.

- Generally, Yellows are very good at launching things. They’re resourceful, and with boundless creativity at their disposal, they can kick off various kinds of projects. But they’re not as good at finishing things. Finishing anything 100 percent requires an ability to concentrate that a Yellow rarely possesses. He gets tired and moves on. And so we think that he’s careless. He thinks that his work is good enough.

- I have a few acquaintances who are hopeless at keeping time. They are always pleased and excited to think things up, but they are optimists when it comes to time. It makes absolutely no difference what time you suggest; they will not be on time. Seven o’clock, half past seven, or eight. It’s unimportant. They’re late regardless. And when they talk about it, they haggle down their late arrival from forty-five minutes to a little over fifteen minutes. After a while, they actually believe it themselves. But it doesn’t matter—the rest of us wait patiently because their presence will be the highlight of the evening.

- We need to talk a little about Yellow’s inability to concentrate. He’s always prepared for new experiences. This is the downside to the incredible openness Yellows have for new things, ideas, and impressions. There are so many new things! And because “new” is synonymous with “good” for a Yellow, it’s best that something new happens all the time. Otherwise, our Yellow friend will lose focus. He can’t be bothered listening to the whole story, the background, and all the details and facts that may actually be relevant. It’s not interesting to him, and he will lose his concentration.

- What does he do then? Simple. Something else. He throws up another ball to juggle. The problem with all these balls is that he might be able to keep them in the air for a while, but he can’t get them down into the right box at the right time. Instead, he leaves the room and the juggled balls tumble down right into someone else’s lap.

- Yellows are like little children. They are good at testing the limits. They continue until someone becomes too angry and puts his foot down. And, of course, then the Yellow feels hurt. He just wanted to …

- Yellows are not good at everyday trivial things like administration and follow-ups. As usual, most Yellows would contest what I just wrote. In their own eyes, they are the masters even here. But if we consider the ability to follow up, this could be a serious threat to the effective implementation of a project.

- Following up on what is actually happening or not happening in a project is extremely boring. That means looking backwards; that’s dull, and it won’t happen. A Yellow can’t keep his concentration long enough to follow through. He would rather persuade himself that it’s important to have confidence in people and just trust that the project gets done.

- Yellows aren’t necessarily more selfish than others, but they always seem to be. Why? Mostly because of their dialogue, since they primarily talk about themselves. And when other people are not sufficiently interesting and exciting, a Yellow will interrupt and guide the topic towards something far more interesting—not infrequently himself.

- If a Yellow is anything, it’s a bad listener. They’re really miserable at it, in point of fact. Many Yellows I have met say that they are very good listeners—and of course supplied entertaining examples of this undeniable fact—but maybe it could be their memory that was at fault. Basically, they believe that they listen very well, but somewhere along the way to the brain’s storage shelves whatever they heard simply gets lost—poof!

- A Yellow is often uninterested in what others say because he knows he could say it so much better himself. He doesn’t stay focused; he begins thinking about other things, begins doing other things. He does not want to listen—he wants to talk.

- Yellows are also quite childish in that they only like doing things that are enjoyable. If a statement or story or just a normal conversation is boring, then they close their ears. If you can present your message in a more amusing way, he’ll at least remain seated a bit longer. Rhetoric isn’t the art of talking but rather the art of getting others to listen.

- Many truly successful people in society are often better listeners than the general average. They don’t willingly talk as much as they listen. They already know what they know, and to learn more they simply have to hush up and hear what others are saying. It’s a way to absorb new knowledge. This is something Yellows need to understand better if they’re not to be perceived as completely hopeless—or just stagnant in their personal development. They must, for example, listen to the message I have presented in this last section. If they refuse to take it in just because it is a difficult and possibly a boring message, they’ll never learn anything.

- Reds and Yellows especially have problems with what I call the silent resistance. Remaining silent rather than speaking out. Certain Greens, however, tend to tell the truth behind the back of the person concerned. Therefore, others can perceive a Green as dishonest, even though their intention is only to avoid conflict. In general, Greens always expect the worst and therefore tend to lie low.

- Then we have the Green’s inability to change. When a Green understands the need for change but still says no thanks, that leads those closest to him to think that he is afraid of change, stubborn, unconcerned, and indifferent.

- The difference between Greens and Blues is that while a Blue holds out for more facts about an issue, Greens expect everything to simply blow over, since they refuse to change their minds. They’ve made a decision about something and will not concede. Why? Because they don’t usually do that.

- If a Green trusts in a particular individual, that individual’s word becomes law. This makes it easy to exploit Greens, because they can be a little naïve and gullible. And unfortunately, certain people take advantage of this fact.

- Since Greens rarely make the first move and almost always allow others to step up first, you can easily get the impression that a Green is not especially interested or engaged. And often that’s the case. He is more passive than he is active, and this has an impact on his behavior.

- While their Red colleagues sprint off with the baton, a Green just sits and waits. Often they’re waiting for the right feeling to convince them of an idea’s merit. and if that doesn’t happen, well … they wouldn’t do anything anyway, so they get what they want. Why not just wait and see if the urge to act goes away?

- This is the paradox. The bigger the plans, the less likely it is that a Green will commit. All he wants is peace and quiet.

- Lots of work is a Green’s greatest enemy, just because that’s exactly what it is—work. They live in a mind-set that everything should be easy.

- Greens are reluctant to take a position on sensitive issues. They have just as many views and opinions as anyone else, but they don’t like shouting them from the rooftops. The reason is simple—it can cause a fuss.

- For a Green, it’s better to be safe than sorry. By expressing himself ambiguously, he avoids taking responsibility for the matter in question. He doesn’t have to risk his good name if he’s uncertain. If he hasn’t taken a position in support of something, he also hasn’t taken any position against something.

- Greens are not as task oriented as Reds and Blues. Greens don’t speak about facts in the same way. They would rather speak about relationships and feelings, which makes it more difficult to be precise. How do you measure a feeling?

- Greens turn frustration inwards and feel awful so that everyone notices it.

- Greens despise a squabble. This aversion to conflict also causes many other challenges, such as stubbornness, ambiguity, and resistance to change. Because Greens are pronounced relational people, nothing is more important to them than keeping a relationship together. The problem is that their method doesn’t work.

- The whole point of the conflict outlook is to deal with every little dissentient issue as soon as it shows its head. Reds, and also some Yellows, do this naturally. When they see something that doesn’t work, they say that it doesn’t work. This means that problems can be resolved at an early stage. But you have to deal with the issue before it begins to stink. The conflict approach usually creates harmony. But a Green will just turn a deaf ear. He’ll do everything in his power to maintain that magical feeling that everyone is in agreement. It’s nicer when everyone agrees, isn’t it? Wouldn’t the world be so much better if there were no conflicts?

- If there are any Reds or Yellows in the room, they will speak about their views on the proposal they’ve just seen. The Reds will love it or loathe it. The Yellows will speak about their own reflections on the proposal. One or two Blues might have a few questions. What do the Greens do? Absolutely nothing. They just lean back in their chairs and let themselves absorb the proposal. They say nothing at all unless asked a direct question. They look anxiously around, hoping that someone will say that this proposal is, in fact, an incomprehensible mess. The group is too large for them to trot out any dissenting opinions. To say something truly dramatic or negative would mean that everyone’s eyes will be on you, and that’s not going to happen. If they say what they are really thinking, a heated debate will erupt, and since a Green doesn’t want to take part in heated debates—he doesn’t even want to be in the same room as one—he simply keeps silent.

- When Greens need to relieve the pressure of not speaking out, they talk behind your back. In small groups of two or three people, they will gladly vent their displeasure. And they’re good at it. As long as they think they can escape your gaze, they’ll backbite you in ways you would never expect from a Green.

- Blues are perceived as evasive, defensive, perfectionist, reserved, fastidious, meticulous, hesitant, conservative, lacking independence, questioning, suspicious, tedious, aloof, and coldhearted.

- Blues find it difficult to begin anything new because they want to prepare very thoroughly. Everything involves risks, and Blues can be almost obsessed with details. Never place too many Blues in the same group. They’ll plan into the next century without ever putting a shovel to the ground.

- Blues are perceived as highly critical and almost suspicious. They miss nothing, and they have a tendency to deliver their observations in an insensitive fashion. They create quality work, but their hairsplitting, critical approach to almost everything lowers the morale of those around them to dangerously low levels. These are people who consider themselves to be realists. When they—in everyone else’s eyes—are, in fact, pessimists.

- Blues want to have all the information on everything, and this can lead to problems with those around them. People who would be satisfied with good enough simply can’t cope with hearing all those questions and all this relentless poking into details. A Blue believes that good enough is never really good enough.

- A Blue doesn’t need small talk. He can easily give the impression that he doesn’t care about other people, because he doesn’t cultivate any relationships. Sure, he cares, but his needs are on a different level than everyone else’s. He likes being in his own company and with immediate family.

- A Blue checks everything one extra time because it’s possible to check everything one extra time. When everything has been confirmed, then you just have to make a decision.

- People get furious when Blues, through his actions, clearly shows that he doesn’t trust them. The other tiny little problem is that everything takes a terribly long time. This can be managed by working more hours. What’s more problematic is the way relationships can suffer because of this habit. How demoralizing is it when you go up to someone to tell him about a possible breakthrough and the first thing the person does is isolate all the different components and call into question every single point?

- Our state of mind, situation, and whether we feel safe or unsafe can have a crucial influence on our body language.

- Shifty eyes generally suggest that the person in question would rather be somewhere else.

- It’s said that liars can’t look you in the eye and they often shift their gaze to the side. But since this is commonly known even among liars, the worst of them have learned to stare you straight in the eyes when they are lying.

- Someone who is repeatedly touching his neck is more often an indicator of a liar.

- When something is awful or unpleasant, many lift their hands up to their faces.

- When you need to think, you often close your eyes for a while.

- When speaking, we usually either nod or shake our heads, depending on whether we agree or not.

- When we listen extra carefully to a discussion, we can lean our heads to one side.

- Hanging your head or wrinkling your forehead can signal sadness or depression.

- When we’re amazed at something, we often raise our eyebrows, while we turn up our noses at things we aren’t fond of.

- Limp and feeble handshakes often indicate a submissive behavior.

- If a handshake is firm it probably suggests that a person is determined.

- Clenched fists rarely mean good news, usually indicating aggressiveness.

- Certain nervous people pick at their clothes, removing hairs or threads. This often indicates they would rather focus their attention on other things.

- Holding your hands clasped behind your back often expresses power and security.

- A more effective way to spot a liar is to notice if he puts the palm of his hand on his chest—preferably his right hand over his heart—and sighs indignantly when he’s been accused of lying. “Would I lie? How can you say that about me?” This gesture is intended to strengthen his honest intentions, but it immediately puts those around on their guard, because it is so unnecessary and excessive. There’s definitely something fishy going on there.

- It’s very important that all people have their own personal space, as everyone needs an area that is his own. The personal zone is generally a few feet and the social zone is three to ten feet.

- A Green who is unsure leans backwards. A Red who is unsure leans forward, as his way of dealing with this uncertainty is to try to dominate the conversation.

- Reds keep their distance from others, have powerful handshakes, lean forward aggressively, use direct eye contact, use controlling gestures.

- Red cross the square at a brisk pace completely disregarding the people standing in his way. With his gaze fixed on a point a bit in front of him, the Red speeds up and crosses the square without any problem. He does not give way but makes others move aside. His steps are decisive and powerful. He expects the rest of us to get out of his way.

- Forget overexuberant smiles. His face can be downright grim, especially if you’re attending a business meeting. But even in social settings, Reds maintain some reserve. A Red won’t give you a big bear hug (as long as he is sober; under the influence of alcohol, anything can happen).

- Reds point at people very readily. The notion that it is rude to point at people isn’t something that particularly worries him. It’s also common that Reds point at you by stretching out their hand towards you with the palm facing down.

- You can also clearly see that Reds—of course they are not alone in this —are more than willing to interrupt you. They draw their breath continuously, hoping to find gaps in the conversation. If they have to wait too long to speak, they’ll throw themselves into the conversation with a loud voice and simply take over.

- Reds tone of voice is often strong. We hear these people clearly because they think nothing of raising their voices to make themselves heard—as much as it takes. Of course, even Reds can be nervous and worried about things, but usually you won’t hear this. Their voices won’t tremble that much.

- No matter what’s happening behind the façade, Reds will sound convincing. No stammer, no hesitation. Finger on the trigger. If we don’t listen, they will repeat it one more time, but louder. In the end, they always get through.

- Reds are always in a hurry. Quick equals good. Normally, this even applies to speech and actions. Everything happens at a furious pace. Because speed is the factor many Reds measure success by, it will be all go. And a couple of sharp changes when the course needs adjusting.

- Yellows are tactile, relaxed and jocular, show friendly eye contact, use expressive gestures, often come close.

- A Yellow’s body language is often very open and inviting. Smiles appear constantly, even when there’s not much to smile about. They joke around a lot and can be very relaxed. When visiting a neighbor he doesn’t know that well, a Yellow may just stretch out on the sofa. But this is typical for Yellows. When a Yellow feels secure in any given situation, you can see it. He’s like an open book.

- Yellows move quickly and quite distinctively. They often radiate a strong self-confidence.

- Personal space is a relative thing for Yellows. While some colors don’t like having people sit too close to them, Yellows will willingly move up very close. Yellows can spontaneously start hugging everyone around them. Man or woman, it doesn’t really matter. It depends on what the feeling and the mood are that day.

- But it’s not just that Yellows like hugging. It can also be a simple form of physical contact. A hand placed on an arm, a pat on the leg—with no ulterior motive. The Yellow just wants to reinforce what he’s said. What a Yellow perceives as something natural and spontaneous others can perceive as an invitation. And of course, it can end badly.

- With Yellows there will be jokes all round and countless smiles. Eye contact is no problem; it’s intense, cheerful, and friendly.

- A Yellow’s tone of voice denotes a strong commitment from start to finish. You hear it from afar: Laughter, fun, intensity. Enthusiasm. Joy. Energy.

- Yellows show empathy very clearly. They’re with you either 100 percent or not at all. And this can be heard in their voice. It goes up and down; it changes tempo, vigor, and intensity. Yellows often have a powerful melody in their way of speaking.

- Greens are relaxed and come close, act methodically, tend to lean backwards, use very friendly eye contact, prefer small-scale gestures.

- Greens are often—but not always—sluggish in body movement. When they’re completely harmonious, they have a relaxed body language that exudes calm and confidence. No impetuous movements, no sudden tossing of their heads or hands. Nice and easy.

- Greens don’t feel at ease in larger groups, so they become more closed and will appear reserved. Greens often have body language that gives them away. They try to hide their true feelings but don’t always succeed. If they’re out of balance or feel uncomfortable, it will be visible.

- When sitting around a table, you can expect that Greens will tend to lean backwards. This is something of a paradox, as they don’t really have a problem getting close to people. Just like Yellows, they like to touch others. It’s fine as long as they know the person they are touching. Beware, however, of touching a Green who hasn’t given a clear sign that he knows you well enough. It’s easy to cross the line. They can be protective of their personal space.

- Greens don’t want to be the center of attention.

- Greens almost always have friendly faces. If not, then they’re quite neutral. Don’t expect any exaggerated smiles or overexuberant greetings. A little expectant, that’s it. But the difference will be huge if a Green knows you. If he thinks that you are good friends, he can be very intimate and friendly. If he feels that you have just met each other, well then, you just have to wait.

- Let Greens come to you. Do not force yourself on them. In time, when they trust you, they’ll relax and become more natural.

- A Green’s voice will never be strong; it’s not likely that he will drown out the group. You’ll have to make a little bit more effort. Even when Greens speak in front of a larger group (they may do this, if they don’t have any choice), they’ll speak as if there were only three of you sitting around the table. Sometimes it may appear that Greens don’t see the other hundred people in the room. The volume is generally low, and it can be difficult to hear what they say. But their voice will always be soft and radiate warmth. The pace will be slower and the variation not at all like when a Yellow speaks.

- Generally, Greens have a slower pace than Reds and Yellows but not quite as slow as Blues. It doesn’t matter what the deadline is. The most important thing is always going to be how people feel.

- Blues prefer to keep others at a distance, either stand or sit, often have closed body language, use direct eye contact, speak without gestures.

- The easiest way to describe a Blue’s body language is to say that he has none.

- A Blue doesn’t exhibit much movement or even temperament reveals nothing. In this case, it’s the lack of distinctive body language that tells us what we need to know.

- Blue is an introvert, which is to say, most of his emotions simply operate beneath the surface.

- When you see Blues speaking in front of larger groups, this tendency becomes very evident. Just like Greens, they have no need to be the center of attention. The difference, however, is that while a Green would like to sink through the floor, a Blue will remain standing. He’ll try to whip up the masses while standing completely motionless with a fixed face.

- Another clue is that Blues require a relatively large amount of personal space around them. They often feel more comfortable by keeping others at a distance. Naturally, it depends on how well they know each other, but this zone is significantly larger than it is for Yellows, for instance.

- If others come too close, Blues’ body language becomes closed. Both arms and legs will be crossed, indicating that they’re keeping their distance.

- Blues move less than others. When they stand, they stand still. There’s not that much swaying and walking. They can very easily stand in the same spot for a whole hour while giving a lecture. When they sit down, they remain seated more or less in the same position all the time.

- Blues normally look others straight in the eyes. They have no problem with eye contact, even if it makes others uncomfortable.

- Though not exactly weak, a Blue’s voice is restrained and subdued. They don’t make much of a fuss about themselves. Their impression tends to be controlled. It’s common for them to sound very pensive, as if weighing every word before it’s allowed to see the light of day.

- Generally, there’s little or no variation in a Blue’s voice. He sounds more or less the same all the time—whether he’s reading the TV Guide or giving his acceptance speech to the nation after winning the presidential election. Without much rhythm or melody, he just continues to say what’s on the script.

- Slow. At least if we compare it to others’. If we take a Red or even a Yellow, he’ll speak at the speed of sound. A Blue has a completely different pace. It will take as long as it takes. Speed is of no interest.

- You could conclude that a really good party consists of sober Yellows and Blues who are slightly under the influence.

- You can always choose how much or little you modulate your behavior. The more you learn about other people, the easier it becomes for you to make decisions. Join in the game, or go your own way? The decision will always be yours.

- In a Red’s world, everything simply takes way too long.

- If there’s anything Reds dislike, it’s endless discussion. It makes them flip out.

- If you want to adapt to a Red’s tempo—hurry up! Speed

up! Speak and act more quickly. Look at the clock often, because that’s what a Red does. If you can conclude a meeting in half the time—do it! If you have a Red with you in the car, he won’t be upset if you’re a little bit over the speed limit. (If you drive too slowly, he might insist on taking the steering wheel.)

- Reds are very much to the point, and they enjoy being with other people who also have the ability to tell them what they want—quickly. If you have a tendency to go around in circles before getting to the crux of the matter, you’ll have difficulty getting through to a Red. He’ll get tired if you waste your words without due cause. And he knows when he’s dealing with a chatterbox.

- If you want to have a Red’s full attention, cut the small talk. It’s vital that you’re clear and straightforward. Determine the most essential point of your message and start there.

- Stick to the topic! The easiest way is to prepare your case

very precisely before going into a meeting with a Red. If, in the middle of an interesting discussion, another thought pops into your head, write it down and ask at the end of the meeting if it’s okay to raise the issue. Otherwise, schedule a new meeting.

- For a Red, “speed” will be synonymous with “efficiency.”

- If you begin a meeting with a Red whom you’ve never met before, nothing could be worse than asking where he lives, where he spent his last vacation, or what he thought of the game last night. Nothing could be more irrelevant to him. He’s not here to chat or make friends. He’s there to do business. Deeply Red individuals become downright irritated and aggressive when they notice that someone is trying to be friends with them.

- If you have an opinion, out with it. Reds judge you on how driven you are. You should listen to them, of course, but you must have an opinion of your own. Otherwise, you’re weak, and that’s not a quality that will win you any points.

- If you have a boss who is Red, he will work hard, maybe harder than anyone else you’ve ever met. He will have many irons in the fire at once, and he’ll have complete control over everything that’s happening.

- A Red can live with the fact that everything won’t be right the first time. But he will demand that you work hard. You should be diligent in everything; feel free to put in overtime if you can. I urge you not to become a workaholic—life has more to offer than work—but from the perceptive of a Red boss, this would be a first-class quality. He will hold you in high esteem if he sees your commitment in the form of hard work.

- Be willing to take initiative. Offer suggestions that the Red didn’t ask for. As usual, get ready for a fight, but he will like that you are driven.

- A Red boss may very well like you—that’s sometimes the case—but don’t expect lots of glowing and pleasant praise

- You don’t have to completely adapt to how Reds want you to behave—that would be surrendering.

- Reds dislike getting into details. It’s boring and takes time. Thus, Reds tend to be careless about small matters.

- For them the destination will always be more important than the journey, so Reds will do just about anything to achieve the desired results. Reds won’t naturally stop to consider the small things or analyze their method.

- If you really want to help Reds do better work, try to demonstrate the benefits of keeping an eye on the details. Explain that the results will be better and profits larger if they just consider a couple of small but crucial elements of the project. Be prepared for the huff and puff and a general unwillingness to act on your advice. But if you’re good at arguing, your advice will be followed. As we know, Reds are good at pushing themselves to the limit, just as long as they make headway.

- A Red needs someone who can get him to pause and realize that not everyone has grasped the situation as quickly as he has. He’ll never be able to carry out all the phases of a project on his own—even if he believes he can and probably will attempt to. He still needs to have his team with him.

- Give examples of instances where time was lost by being too hasty. Point out the risks involved in hurrying too much. Explain that others can’t keep up, and point out that it would be great if everyone knew what the project was about. Don’t give in. Assert that not even he can manage everything himself. Force a Red to wait for others.

- Red individuals aren’t anxious about risks. Many Reds actively search for risky situations just for the thrill of it. In fact, what others might perceive as dangerous behavior a Red wouldn’t even think of as risky. “Hey, life is risky. You won’t get out of it alive!”

- Reds do need someone who can weigh the advantages against the disadvantages. Disadvantages are boring, of course, so a Red individual will often simply ignore them.

- People around Reds frequently feel that they’re being steamrolled by their friends or coworkers. It’s rarely the Red’s real intention; it’s just something that happens.

- Reds may not understand that others are avoiding them because they would rather avoid conflict. This also means that Reds can be excluded from important information.

- Reds need to understand that the road to full transparency is to adapt to others. That thought may never even have crossed their minds; they’re mostly focused on themselves and their own thing. But by realizing that no one can manage everything alone, they can be prevailed upon to pause and actually care about other people.

- You should confront his behavior immediately. Don’t allow any exceptions; just say loudly and clearly that you won’t tolerate coarse remarks, nastiness, and uncalled-for tantrums. Demand adult behavior, and if he loses his temper just leave the room. It’s important that you never let him get his way just by barking his head off.

- The one thing a Red detests more than anything else is being told that he must lower his voice.

- Yellows are not afraid of conflict. If something goes wrong, they can really blow a gasket, but if possible, they prefer a pleasant and cozy atmosphere. Yellows are at their best when everyone is being friendly and the sun is shining.

- A Yellow, however, can be very sensitive to whether people are in good spirits or not. If the people in a group are in bad spirits and aggression is pouring down like from a cloudburst, he won’t be happy at all.

- A Yellow functions best when he is happy and content. His creativity is at its zenith and all his positive energy flows. You should strive to create a warm and friendly atmosphere around him.

- Smile a lot, have fun, and laugh. Listen to his crazy jokes, laugh along at all his childish remarks, and kindle the easygoing and happy-go-lucky atmosphere. If you do that, he’ll feel better about you and listen to you more, which is always a good thing. A Yellow in a bad mood is not much fun to be with.

- A Yellow simply can’t cope with details. It just gets boring. Not only will he forget what you’re talking about, but he’ll also simply think that he doesn’t need any of those details. His strength lies in the broad brushstrokes. You can easily ask a Yellow to draw up a vision for the next ten years, but don’t ask him to explain how to make it happen.

- If you want to keep a Yellow’s attention, strip away as much of the minutia as you possibly can. Always start with the big questions.

- Yellows don’t care about how things work, only that they work. So put away the instruction manual—they’ll never open it.

- While a Red focuses on speed, a Yellow focuses on the latest and greatest. “New” is synonymous with “good.”

- Become approachable. Demonstrate that you’re available; smile a lot; be sure to have open body language.

- It may seem a bit unnecessary, but you should definitely show interest in the Yellow as a person. Admittedly, it won’t be difficult to find out things about him, because he’ll freely tell you a great deal. But be sure to show that you are curious and interested. And remember that Yellows are very susceptible to flattery.

- To keep a Yellow in good spirits, you need to rub him the right way. The problem will become obvious after a while. They won’t get that much work done.

- Yellows are, beyond the shadow of a doubt, the worst listeners. Usually, they will never admit it. The very expression itself—“awful listeners”—is something negative, and they’ll do anything to avoid negativity. Many Yellows really see themselves as good listeners.

- Yellows don’t want to listen. They want to talk. Yellows simply think that they can express everything far better than anyone else. The problem is that they neglect to listen to what anyone else is saying.

- It’s impossible to accomplish everything a Yellow wants to do, particularly because he doesn’t even know how long anything takes. And even if he does ask someone how long it takes, he doesn’t listen to what the person says, because what he’s saying is wrong. After all, the Yellow believes he probably knows best.

- Say it like it is: If he’s not in his car outside your door two hours before the plane takes off, you’ll drop down dead of a heart attack. Tell the Yellow that you will be deeply irritated with him and that your friendship could be damaged due to his continual slipups.

- If the dinner is due to start at 7:00 P.M., invite everyone for that time, but make it 6:30 for your Yellow friends. They’ll arrive last anyway. They’ll come with very well-worded excuses. Be prepared for very colorful stories. But also know that Yellows will emphatically deny that they are optimists regarding time. They’ll insist that they most certainly kept an eye on the clock. It was just that something happened on the way.

- The most cluttered desks I have ever seen have all belonged to Yellows. Computer screens with so many Post-it notes stuck to them that you can barely see the screen. The most topsy-turvy garages and the most overloaded attics belong to Yellows as well.

- If you really want to help a Yellow get organized, make sure he gets at least some structure in his life. Help out by creating a simple list. If you are going shopping: Write down everything yourself. Your partner or pal will forget half of the items.

- “Me, me, me.” Yellows have strong egos, just like Reds, no doubt about that. They like getting attention; they throw themselves into the center of things faster than anyone else. They enjoy themselves the most when they’re in the middle of where the action is. Your yellow friend is a ray of sunshine, talking louder and faster than everyone else and lighting up a room with his behavior.

- Yellows need to understand that there are other people in the room or working on the project besides themselves. You can never allow Yellows to consume all the oxygen. They need to hear—from someone with courage and perseverance—that they have to let others enter the conversation or whatever it may be.

- Yellows talk more than they work. They have a penchant for talking about everything they need to do rather than actually doing anything.

- Many people have trouble getting motivated to work, especially with boring tasks. But Yellows find it particularly hard to leave the starting block when faced with uncomfortable tasks. It may be about having to call a dissatisfied customer, or getting an oil change, or going to the pharmacy. If it’s dull and uninspiring, it won’t happen. Their excuses for avoiding these tasks will be numerous and imaginative.

- To help your Yellow friend you need to make sure that he puts his shovel in the ground and starts digging. Push him, but push gently. Treat him a little bit like you would treat a child. Be kind but clear. If he notices that you’re becoming his taskmaster, things may become difficult. Yellows hate feeling controlled. They need the most help to get into gear, but that doesn’t mean they like it. They are free souls and don’t obey anyone else.

- You need to be diplomatic. Softly and gently explain the value of actually doing the job itself, now that he knows what needs to be done. Take a moment to explain to a Yellow how the great popularity he already enjoys can actually be increased even further if he just happens to get finished. Everyone will love him, and he will be more beloved than ever.

- Yellow people find it difficult to cope with criticism. They don’t like it because it doesn’t make them look good.

- Defensive walls pop up quicker than you can say “poor self-awareness.” Deep down the Yellow individual knows that he has weaknesses; he just won’t consider talking about them.

- If you wish to get through to a Yellow with negative feedback, you need to be persistent. Create a friendly atmosphere in the room and find the right tone so that your criticism lands where it should.

- You can always slam your fist on the table as hard as you can to really shake him up, lay down the cold, hard truth, and give it to him straight. I don’t recommend this. Better to work slowly and consistently, repeating the same feedback until he understands.

- Clarity is key. Make sure to be extremely well prepared, with all possible facts to substantiate your claims. Yellows are clever manipulators. If he senses that you’re not serious in your criticism and that you won’t follow up, he’ll lure you off track. He is good at smokescreens. Make sure you don’t get lost in the fog.

- Get real answers to your questions, and be sure that he understands the message. Insist that he writes down what you have said. Ask him to repeat your feedback. You also need to set up a plan of action. But save that for the next meeting. Right now, you’ve probably gotten as far as you can with a Yellow. You’ll just exhaust yourself if you keep going.

- Security will always be important to a Green. A Green worries about everything that may happen. He doesn’t like insecurity and solves it by hiding under the covers. If you don’t see it, then it’s not there. He doesn’t want to be anywhere if it’s too insecure. He strives for stability and doesn’t even want to think about wild gambles.

- Show that you’re prepared to listen to what he is anxious about. Don’t say things like “There’s nothing to be afraid of.” It doesn’t work because the fear itself is real. And it’s also not true. There are many legitimate things to be afraid of. We all have things we’re anxious about; a Green just has more of them.

- Green’s passivity. Nothing is too big to be ignored. Being proactive and driven, having an active lifestyle—all these things disturb tranquility. And it won’t be appreciated. He won’t be happy if you’re constantly coming up with new things to do.

- Greens feel better when they don’t have to be active. They come home on a Friday evening so completely exhausted from spending the week trying to accomplish as little as possible that they now need to take a good rest. I’ve met Greens whose efforts to avoid work cost them more energy than actually doing the work.

- They don’t like weekends with full schedules. Visiting the mother-in-law, organizing a picnic, taking his son to soccer, cleaning out the garage, inviting the neighbors over for dinner—everything becomes a burden for him, and half the time nothing gets done at all. A Green glides under the radar and disappears completely. He needs peace and quiet to be able to do what he does best. Peace and quiet make him feel safe and content.

- It’s important to respect this on one level. We need to put ourselves in other people’s shoes, knowing how stressful it can be for them to be constantly on the go. In today’s society, it’s not possible to avoid all the bustle and activity. It means that a genuine Green often feels that he is doing something wrong. He hears about everyone else’s weekends, their activities, how they’ve completed one complicated project after the other. For a Green that just sounds exhausting.

- Stability and predictability are valuable to a Green. And when you think about it, it’s very logical—it’s a good thing knowing what’s going to happen. We probably all have some measure of control dependency. We simply want to know. For Greens, this dependency is very strong. When Reds ask what, Yellows wonder who. When Blues ask why, Greens want to know how.

- A Green simply needs to know what the plan is. What needs to happen? When will things be taking place? What should he expect?

- I know that many of us are creatures of habit, but if you snitch a Green’s since-a-long-time-ago-claimed chair, you unhinge his very existence and he won’t be able to get his food down.

- Since a Green won’t come up with anything on his own, it will be you and I who will have to handle the planning. But maybe that’s okay. We can help ease Greens’ minds by explaining every step of the plan. Instead of just saying that I’ve invited guests over for the weekend, I could explain that we will be having John and Mary over for dinner and we’ll be offering a three-course dinner consisting of an appetizer, a main course, and a dessert. I’ll fix the main course while my Green partner should make the dessert and should follow this recipe. I explain who is doing what. Who will buy the wine, who will buy the flowers, and so on. I might even explain which day my Green partner has to do the shopping. And who knows, maybe I’ll write down the address of the flower shop with a list of exact instructions about what should be purchased.

- Greens don’t like friction of any kind. They back off when a discussion heats up or if you frown at the wrong time. Everything could be a potential conflict, and this is a very bad condition for all Greens. They lock themselves in and become silent and passive.

- If you have a comment to make about a Green’s behavior, make sure you’re careful about how you present it. For example, if it involves criticism, you should deliver it in private. Make sure that the person you are talking to understands that you still like him, but that you believe that he and the group (work team, sports team, family, association) will function better if he changes certain things. Don’t ask him what he can do about the behavior; just ask him to do certain specific things. It may be that he knows what to do, but as usual, he will not lead the conversation—you’ll need to do that.

- The majority of the population has Green as its dominant quality. This is the main reason why we can’t accept change with open arms. Everything new is evil, and it should be strongly discouraged.

- If you want Greens to accept change, you’ll have to equip yourself with a good dollop of patience. Break down the process into small pieces and set aside a few weeks to persuade, win over, and spell out the particulars. You must describe the process in detail, and since no one is going to take any notes, you’ll have to go through it again, and again, and again until the message gets home.

- Greens have developed this laziness into an art form. They don’t want any responsibility because a) it can lead to conflict if someone doesn’t agree with a decision or b) there may be lots of extra work and that’s never good. And so they dodge it, for as long as possible.

- Responsibility is burdensome, requiring inner strength as well as an external drive to assume it. But at the same time, it’s a measure of maturity, and it begins with taking responsibility for yourself and your own life. Greens (and some other colors on occasion) have a tendency to blame everything and everyone but themselves.

- If you want to make headway with a large group of Greens, you have to take command, get a firm hold on the steering wheel, and, in some cases, simply get into the driver’s seat yourself. Asking a group of Greens to solve a task is as much use as trying to put a brake on a canoe. They won’t get started unless you put them on the track.

- A Blue prepares meticulously. If you’ve planned to meet at a certain place at a certain time, you can rest assured that he’ll be there. A Blue will have gone through all the material, analyzed everything down to the smallest detail, and he’ll be prepared to discuss just about anything on the topic. He will have an alternative plan and a contingency plan for that as well.

- Being Blue is a little like doing military service: No excuses will be allowed. If you get a flat tire, you should be prepared for it. If there’s a puncture in the spare tire, you must have a plan for that, too.

- A Blue is not at all interested in your personal preferences or what you think about his choice of car, house, sport, or anything else that is not related to work. He’s there to work. Period.

- Stick to the task. Work with checklists where factual matters are noted—things you can tick off together with the Blue. If you’re Yellow, put a part of your spontaneity aside. For that matter, put away as much spontaneity as you can. Force yourself to do one thing at a time. Remind yourself that a Blue will rarely or never ask how things are going or show interest in your personal problems. Don’t ask how things are going for him on a personal level, either. The word itself would be his answer: “Personal. This is private. Stay off.” In time he will open up if he wants to. It’s not that he doesn’t like you; he just wants to work first. Accept this and it will go well.

- If a plan seems crazy, a Blue will never have any confidence in it. There’s no point in playing on his feelings or trying to promote ideas that are way too wild. What you say needs to have realistic perspectives; otherwise, you won’t get anywhere.

- Think through what you want to say and what you want to convince a Blue to believe. Put daydreams and visions aside. It may even be worth rethinking the kind of language you will use to talk about your plan. Skip all those inspirational speeches that Yellows and Reds adore. Stick to the facts, and be clear.

- Details are essential to communicating with a Blue. If you really want to get through to them, you must make sure to be very exact. Carelessness or ignoring the details won’t be appreciated.

- He also wants to know exactly. If you’re asked how much a particular product costs, don’t say, “About ten dollars.” Say, “Nine dollars and seventy-three cents.” It’s a precise answer. A Blue is more interested in an exact price than a low price. He may very well negotiate, but he wants to know the precise cost.

- Quality is what drives a Blue. Everything else is secondary. Everything else he focuses on stems from a deeply rooted desire that everything must be perfect. A Blue is discontented if he’s not allowed to perform his work to an exacting standard. It has nothing to do with what quality of work is actually needed. It’s simply due to his belief that things must always be done the proper way.

- This, of course, takes a huge amount of time. But the advantage is obvious—if you do it right from the beginning, you will avoid having to redo it. This is actually a great way of saving time. But since a Blue does not think in terms of hours, days, or even weeks—but rather in months and years—he doesn’t see the potential downside of his exacting standards. If a thing is worth doing, it’s worth doing right—and that takes time. It’s as simple as that.

- Be particularly meticulous in your work when trying to impress a Blue; otherwise, he will view you as sloppy and careless. You should be on your guard about expressing yourself using negative terms concerning how the Blue spends too much time just on quality. Use words like “careful control,” “properly inspected,” “the importance of quality.” Avoid criticizing Blues for taking too much time or fussing over details that may be unnecessary. Instead, praise them for their attention to detail and the superior work they do. Let the Blue understand that you are doing quality work and that you understand its value.

- You should prepare very carefully before any meetings with a Blue. He judges you by the merit of the work you create. Not by how funny you are, not by who you know, not by whether or not you invite him to fancy lunches. None of this means anything if you are careless. When you are finished with a task—double-check it. If possible—triple-check. Have someone else look at it. Only then should you show it to your Blue colleague.

- A Blue has feelings like everyone else, and he appreciates people. It just looks a little different. Because most of a Blue’s emotions are self-contained, he may seem a little cold. No facial expressions to speak of, no gestures, no emotional expressions at all. Blues often don’t seem interested in other people and simply focus on the issue at hand.

- Point out that constant criticism rarely accomplishes anything.

- We can tell Blues to hurry up, but it goes in one ear and out the other. Speed isn’t an end in itself. Oftentimes, Blues slow down even more when they’re feeling stress, since in a high-stakes situation you really don’t have time to make mistakes. Better to be careful to avoid time-consuming fixes.

- Outwardly, the Blue is quite unmoved. He works at his own pace without worrying that those around him may burn out from their more hectic pace.

- Calmly and methodically tell the Blue that next week he’ll need to work at a faster pace. Explain exactly why this is so important. Establish that you have only forty-eight hours left to complete the project. This time is precious and must be used correctly. Point to the big picture. Give him valid reasons he should go against his instincts.

- Gut feeling is the opposite of rational thought, and nothing could be more foreign to the Blue.

- In order to get something to happen, provide the decision maker with the necessary data required for him to make a decision about one of the candidates. Push him to make a choice. Remind him that the deadline is approaching. Point out the repercussions of delaying the decision—the quality of the company’s work will suffer if he doesn’t hire a new employee. Explain that everything has been properly considered and that, regardless of which candidate he chooses, all the risks have been eliminated.

- So the basic rule is to meet a Red with Red behavior, Yellow with Yellow, Green with Green, and finally Blue with Blue. You may think that it sounds simple. The difficulty comes, for example, if you are Yellow and must adapt to a Blue. You might need more training here. It depends on what color you are, how strong your self-awareness is, and how willing you are to make headway with a specific contact in your everyday life.

- At the risk of sounding clichéd—it’s all about working together, about meeting one another in the middle.

- Good news: You don’t need any great skill to give negative feedback to a Red. The only thing you need is a Kevlar vest and fire-resistant hair. Because no matter how you do it, the temperature in the room will rise. If you’re prepared for it, there won’t be any major problems. But if a Red doesn’t respond to what you say, then you have reason to worry. Either he’s ignoring you and what you’re saying or he’s seriously ill.

- When you’re conveying criticism to a Red, the simplest way to do so is to avoid any form of decorative wrapping. It’s enough of a challenge to even get through to Reds with your criticism, because a Red always believes that he is right and you are wrong.

- When giving feedback to Reds, don't gift wrap things, be straight forward, give very concrete examples, stick to the facts, be prepared for war, and ask them to repeat what you said.

- A Red is not that interested in the feelings of others or what people think. He prefers to focus on facts and likes to fix things. He sees himself as an excellent problem solver.

- The worst thing you can do in such a situation is play along with the theatrics and start yelling and pounding your fist on the table. The Red’s natural instinct to win any given situation will then take over completely. He won’t be able to think long term and will become focused on winning right now. He’ll ignore the fact that we’re working together and that we’re going to meet again tomorrow. He’s out to win in this moment, even if it costs him a relationship. He ignores the consequences, aggression takes over, and the real battle begins.

- But if you refuse to play along, you can manage Reds’ anger. So I remained seated, and when he finally calmed down I simply continued to the next point, without saying a single word to indicate that I had been influenced by his ranting and raving. Step by step, I got him to see the impact of his conduct on the group. And little by little, he began to realize that he had to learn to control himself when things didn’t go his way at work. He needed to take it easier on other people, to avoid placing unreasonable demands on others, and on himself, and to wait for deadlines instead of demanding delivery a week early, just because he was bored.

- Prepare yourself extremely well and try not to give negative feedback to a Red if you are not feeling strong that day. You need to be full of self-confidence, so choose your opportunity carefully. A Red is always strong, always full of self-confidence, so for him it doesn’t matter. He will ride into battle at a moment’s notice, if necessary. And, prepare yourself for the possibility that he might try to turn the tables. He’ll accuse you of everything under the sun so that he can feel he has the upper hand. Don’t fall into his trap.

- Yellows are great at many things. Among their great attributes is their love of change. Ideally, they’d change things all the time. You would think that accepting feedback can be a way to start changing the things that need to be improved. In particular, negative feedback is a great way to find out how to raise your performance to a higher level. But this isn’t quite the way it works with Yellows. In fact, that isn’t how it works at all. When it comes to change, Yellows are certainly in favor of it, but only if they came up with the idea themselves. Criticism from the outside isn’t always well received.

- When giving feedback to a yellow, make an agenda and follow it, give very concrete examples, be aware that their ears might not be connected to their brain, explain that you don't dislike them or their behavior, prepare yourself for a strong defense mechanism, especially the martyr complex, and ask the person to repeat what you've agreed to and follow up as soon as you can.

- The first thing I had to do was prepare myself. Just sitting down with a Yellow and speaking from the heart about the issue wasn’t going to work. He would just take over the conversation and lure me off the track. So I decided to give a few concrete examples. I also wrote down exactly what effects his behavior might have on people. And I tried to anticipate all his objections.

- It’s incredibly important to get the Yellow to acknowledge and accept the message. If you don’t recognize a problem, you don’t have to solve it.

- “There’s nothing wrong with your stories. You just need to cut down on the number of them. Take every third one. Skip two out of three. The problem is that you talk too much, not that you repeat yourself. You have to let the other seven people around the table speak.”

- Criticizing a Yellow is difficult because they take things personally. If everything isn’t ice cream and sprinkles all the time, then there must be a problem somewhere. They think you’ve suddenly become enemies.

- Despite their flexibility and creativity, Yellows are actually the most difficult to change. They don’t listen and only implement changes that they themselves have thought of. What you need to do is massage their egos as much as you can bear and put words into their mouths. It’s worth remembering that their short memories also apply to hard feelings. Although they feel awful when criticized, they soon forget. They simply repress everything that is difficult or unpleasant. So if you can just cope with the groans and the moans and maybe a few tears in between, you can continue towards your goal. Achieving that change that will do you both a world of good. With patience and perseverance, you’ll eventually succeed.

- Criticizing a Green can be cruel. They will feel bad and will simply withdraw and shut down. In general, they have weaker egos and can often be very self-critical. You don’t want to increase this burden even more.

- It’s important to note that there is a difference between being self-critical and changing and being self-critical and not doing anything about it. Many Greens roam through life wishing that things were different. But they rarely have the drive to do anything about it. So they continue to be dissatisfied. Sometimes I think that’s an end in itself, not to be satisfied. It’s a way to get some attention, to gain some power. I know many Greens who control everything and everyone in their families by simply refusing to do anything whatsoever. Psychologists call this being passive-aggressive—a very apt expression.

- When giving feedback to a Green, give concrete examples and use a gentle approach, be gentle but don't backpedal, deal with the green's response of “you're right—I'm so stupid”, be sure to explain that the behavior is the problem not the person, and ask the person to repeat what you have agreed on and follow up.

- It’s always good to be concrete. The difference here is that a Green actually listens, which both previous colors did not. A Green hears what you’re saying and dislikes what he hears.

- While it doesn’t work to tell a Red that you feel bad because of his behavior or that others feel ill at ease because of something he did, that’s precisely what works best here. A Green is a relational person and doesn’t like to offend. It may seem manipulative, but if a certain form of behavior makes you sad, angry, or just generally dejected say that. A Green person will sense your mood, and he’ll pick up what you are saying if you dare to be honest about it.

- It is all about clarity again. If you have any shred of humanity, you’ll see how a Green falls apart the more you give him negative criticism. If you say to your partner that his constant habit of sitting in front of the television watching sports such as football makes you feel completely neglected and unloved, you’ll immediately see how much this news affects him. But then it’s important that you not backtrack on your statement and say things like “Maybe it’s not that bad,” or “I still have some projects I’ve been wanting to work on while you relax.” Dare to be clear, and go straight to the point. You need to convey your message in the right way. Clearly but softly. A hand on someone’s shoulder can be enough to send a signal that “we’re still friends, but I have a problem when you do this or that.”

- Greens crush themselves with additional arguments about why they’re useless and stupid. They’ll kneel in your presence for weeks afterwards and try to placate you in all kinds of ways that have nothing to do with the issue at hand.

- Greens don’t always write down what you say to them, so it’s a good idea to check with them to make sure you’ve both interpreted the conversation the same way.

- Don’t let things go too far. Address the problem while there’s still time. So stand up and deliver the negative feedback—even to the friendly Greens in your life.

- Before you try to give negative feedback to a Blue, for Pete’s sake, make sure you know what you’re talking about. Let me remind you that a Blue knows exactly what he’s done and he has a far better eye for details than you do. So make sure you have your facts ready before the thought even enters your mind. The section that follows deals with how to deliver feedback, but the biggest task here consists in finding out the details of what happened before you give any feedback.

- The Blue will be able to quote everything and everyone, and he’ll always have proof that what he did was correct—after all, that’s why he did it. If it had been wrong, he wouldn’t have done it. Make sure you’re armed to the teeth before scheduling the meeting.

- When giving feedback to a Blue. provide specific detailed examples preferably in writing, do not get too personal if you don't know each other that well, stick to the facts, be prepared for counterquestions at the molecular level, and ask the person to repeat what you've said—and follow up soon afterwards.

- You need to have everything written down. Blues have a certain degree of distrust when it comes to people talking too much; the written word automatically becomes more true in their eyes. So write down what you want to say, but double-check everything.

- If you want to get through to a Blue, you need to stick to concrete facts. Each time you start feeling guilty about saying negative things and start speaking about how appreciated he is, you’ll confuse him. He’ll wonder what you’re really trying to say. He has no ego that must be inflated, and he will see right through your attempts to sugar coat the criticism you really have. So stick to the facts.

- Remember that he’s not there to be your pal, he’s there to do a job. Be sure to talk about that. Feel free to ask if he has any suggestions for improvement. Use words like “quality,” “evaluate,” “analyze,” “follow up.” Simply use the language he is used to. You will get through so much more easily.

- Ask your Blue employee to repeat what you’ve agreed to. He needs to duly acknowledge that he has seen and heard the same things you have said.

- If you know that you’re right (not just that it feels right), follow up afterwards to make sure that he’s back on track.

- You also need to remember that although it may be difficult to get a Blue to respond to feedback, he has no problem criticizing others. Remember, he sees all the mistakes everyone else makes and he will likely point out your mistakes when you least expect it. Not because he’s being vindictive, but just because you’ve botched up.

- A group should consist of all colors to create the

best possible dynamic.

- In a perfect world, we would have an equal number of each color. The Yellow comes up with a new idea, the Red makes the decision, the Green has to do all the work, and the Blue evaluates and makes sure that the results are excellent.

- It’s generally easier for two people to work together if they have the same sense of tempo and work at a similar speed.

- Blue and Green could be a suitable combination, without much of an effort from either of them. They would certainly recognize themselves in each other’s ability to breathe calmly and to think twice before doing something. Since both are introverts, each of them feels secure with the other. It’s the same kind of energy. Neither of them will build castles in the air, because they prefer to keep both feet on the ground. They don’t stress but allow themselves to dive deeply into things. Sure, they may find it difficult to make decisions, but the decisions that they do make will probably be well thought out.

- Red and Yellow work smoothly together, since they both want to shoot from the hip and always move forward. Here we also have the same kind of energy, only a different type. Both are powerful and outgoing, and because both are verbal, they can easily find the right words. Certainly, they’ll have a different focus in the conversation, but the dialogue will still flow. Both set high goals and think quickly. A team of Yellows and Reds will set a fast tempo, and while they are both clear about what they want, they’ll motivate those around them to achieve great things. The challenge probably lies in the fact that a Red can perceive a Yellow as being too talkative, but since neither of them is a world-class listener, they’ll both just switch off when it suits them.

- Both Blues and Reds are task oriented. Reds are certainly more interested in the result than in the process itself, and Blues are more concerned with the process and tend to ignore the result—but they’re at least speaking the same language. Both devote themselves to work and only spend limited time chatting about football or home improvement—except maybe at lunchtime. They would complement each other in a good way. If we liken this to a car, a Red is the accelerator, while a Blue is the brake. Both are needed in order to drive successfully. The trick is not to push both pedals at the same time.

- There is some logic in placing a Green with a Yellow. The tempo at which they work will be different, but both of them will be curious about each other. Both believe that people are interesting and important. While one likes to take it easy, the other likes having fun. They’ll easily find a similar focus. The Green will allow the Yellow to take as much space as he wants. One talks; the other listens. It can work out well. In addition, Greens are good at calming down the slightly hysterical Yellows, who sometimes have a hard time staying grounded. Of course, there’s a risk that they’ll fail to devote sufficient time to the work itself, but they will have a very good time. People around them might feel that they’re only having a good time and not actually delivering anything. As both can find it difficult to say no, it might also be a good idea to avoid entrusting them with too much money.

- The Yellow, on the one hand, will consider him to be the most uninspiring bore he has ever met. The Blue, on the other hand, will only be disturbed by the Yellow’s perpetual verbal barrage. He’ll slowly begin to boil beneath the surface because of the incessant buzzing around him. He believes that the Yellow is a frivolous windbag, not deserving any attention whatsoever. And when the Yellow finally realizes that he hasn’t won the Blue over to his side, he’ll pull out all the stops and talk even more. In the worst case, he’ll try to charm the Blue, which will end up driving them to disaster. They’ll sit in their own corners, with faces like they’ve tasted sour milk, both mad for completely different reasons. Self-awareness, my friend, is the solution.

- For a Red, there are many reasons to be irritated. A Red’s strength is that when they explode they rid themselves of any anger or irritation they’ve been feeling. They erupt briefly, but it doesn’t last. The shot glass may be quick to reach capacity, but it doesn’t take long to empty it. They simply empty the shot glass of anger and frustration and they’re back to being themselves.

- A Red can rarely manage to be angry for long. He blurts out what he wants to say, and then he moves on.

- A Red doesn’t consider himself an angry person. He’s just given someone a piece of his mind or maybe raised his voice at him. Again, it’s just a way of communicating. But to a Green, it might seem that a Red is angry even when he’s just sharing his opinion. So much is in the eye of the beholder. It’s common that many people simply back off, to avoid confronting the Red and triggering his anger. But by letting their anger get the best of them all the time, Reds miss out on a lot of feedback.

- Even the cheerful Yellow loses his temper: Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Although Yellows generally have a sunny, optimistic disposition, they have a temper as well.

- Genuine Yellows can let their egos get in the way most of the time. The advantage, however, is that due to their bad memory, they don’t hold grudges for long. They quickly forget that there were any problems, an ability that can make Greens and Blues find Yellows to be a little bit too exciting.

- I would liken a Green’s temperament to a fifty-gallon beer barrel. Can you imagine how many shot glasses it would take to fill it? We could fill, fill, and fill even more before we even start covering the bottom of it. Many Greens function like that. They receive and accept without objecting. This is very much connected to their desire to avoid conflict but also to their inability to say no. They simply agree because it’s easier that way.

- Greens don’t release any anger or frustration but control their emotions so as not to create trouble or stand out. But they feel and experience just as much as everyone else does. They just lack the natural tools to release everything.

- Create a healthy environment around a Green so that he becomes comfortable enough to say what he thinks so that he doesn’t have to continually compromise his position. Otherwise, he will turn all his frustration inwards. And we know what this kind of stress can do to a person.

- Blues simply have less need to communicate than Greens. So they simply don’t do it. Some things are turned inwards even for Blues. Those who are quick thinkers may wonder if Blues run the risk of burnout just as much as Greens do. Not at all. They have a system to keep stress under control.

- Metaphorically speaking, Blues have as big a beer barrel as Greens have, but there is one crucial difference: At the bottom of the barrel, there’s a handy little tap. This tap gives a Blue a valve to release part of the contents of the barrel. He can regulate the pressure whenever he wishes to. Moreover, the tap leaks. It’s not tight enough to create a perfect seal, and small drops drip most of the time. A Blue’s dissatisfaction comes out in the form of tiny grumblings.

- The way to manage his nagging is to ask counterquestions. Ask for concrete examples. Ask for suggestions for improvement. It may, in fact, be the case that the Blue has solved the problem that is plaguing him, but that he needs a straight question in order for him to step forward and suggest a solution.

- When we speak about stress, we often mean the feeling of having too much to do and too little time to do it.

- If you feel pressure and have high expectations about what you will do and how you are meant to be, you can become stressed, even if you aren’t really pressed for time.

- The feeling of stress arises when we experience greater demands and expectations than we can cope with.

- To stress out a red, take every form of authority away, achieve no results whatsoever, eliminate any kind of challenge, waste time and resources and work as inefficiently as possible, make sure that everything becomes routine, make a bunch of stupid mistakes, give him no control over others, tell him regularly to cool down or to lower his voice.

- Not being involved in decision-making is really difficult for a Red. He always believes that he has better ideas and so he also believes that he should be the one in charge of the project.

- Red behavior hinges on one thing: the ability to handle problems and difficult challenges. If there are no problems to solve, then Reds will lack stimulation. They’ll become passive, believing that they have absolutely nothing to do. They can slow down the pace, and this can be difficult to reverse.

- Mundane and repetitive tasks are the kiss of death for a Red. It’s simply boring. Reds lose their concentration and will find something else to do. Routine work is not what they’re good at. They’re lousy at details, and they know it. Someone else needs to take care of the dull, routine work, because a Red believes that he has a better understanding of the big picture.

- If a Red believes his colleagues are brainless, he gets crazy: “Why don’t they understand what they’re supposed to do? How hard can it be?”

- A Red’s need for control can be extensive. It’s not about controlling facts and details. They want to control people. What they do, how they do it, and so on. Without this control, a Red gets very frustrated.

- If you have the authority to give a direct order, the answer is simple: Ask them to get a hold of themselves. It actually works. Another way to make it easier for Reds in stressful situations is to send them home and tell them to do some physical exercise—anything to burn some of that frustrated, restless energy.

- To stress out a Yellow, pretend he's invisible, become very skeptical, structure work as much as possible, isolate him from the rest of the group, make clear that it's inappropriate to joke at work, push a yellow to think carefully beforehand—twice, continuously squabble and fuss about insignificant things, try a little public humiliation.

- Pessimism and negativity effectively kill Yellows’ enthusiasm and cause them to feel tense.

- Just like Reds, Yellows shun routine, repetitive tasks and jam-packed schedules. They happily create schedules for others, but they can’t follow them themselves. Force them into one of your plans and you’ll see how your Yellow friends will begin to unravel.

- For a Yellow, the absence of someone to talk to is perhaps the worst thing ever. It’s the end of the world. Because they need to talk, there must be someone there to listen. Being trapped in an office space with only a desk for company is a punishment worse than death.

- Remember that a Yellow’s stress will always be noticed. Don’t believe otherwise.

- A Yellow who has been given negative feedback in the presence of others won’t be a pleasant sight to behold. It’s enough to make him never speak to you again. Moreover, he’ll also become incredibly defensive, and you’ll achieve nothing at all.

- A Yellow's ego makes it impossible for him not to seek out more attention and affirmation, since he has to compensate for the negative feelings of stress. This means that he’ll actively look for attention, which makes him feel better. The risk is that he’ll talk too much and force himself into the center of everything.

- You’ve never experienced a real challenge until you’ve tried to cope with a truly stressed-out Yellow. He’ll come up with plans that are so wild and outlandish that not even he can believe them. This is just a natural coping mechanism for him.

- When things are at their worst for a stressed Yellow, suggest a pub crawl, a party, or why not just a simple barbeque? It doesn’t need to be fancy, but make sure he gets to enjoy himself for a while. Also, make sure that it’s fun!

- To stress out a Green, take every form of security away from him, leave lots of loose ends, hang around him constantly, make lightning-fast changes and unexpected changes of direction, ask him “would you be so good as to redo the wrong thing from beginning to end?”, tell a Green, “look here! we can't agree on absolutely everything,” push him into the spotlight.

- To stress out a Green, give Greens tasks that he’s never done before without explaining anything whatsoever to him. But, at the same time, expect perfect implementation. Leave him alone in meetings with people who place unreasonable demands on him. Don’t support him when things heat up in a conversation. Send an angry Red to rant at him. The stress will soon follow.

- Greens like to know how things fit together, and when they don’t understand how the process works it won’t go well. Unfinished projects—things that have been started but are drawn out without any end in sight—really mess things up for Greens. This is why Yellows are phenomenal at causing stress for Greens.

- If a Green doesn’t get his private space, if there’s nowhere he can withdraw from the world, he gets very stressed. He likes other people, of course, but he needs to be alone with himself also. If this isn’t possible, then he can’t think anymore.

- Greens are miserable when they’re forced into making unexpected and rapid changes, and they often respond by ending up in a state of absolute indifference. The worst kind of change is when a Green gets an order in the morning and just as he begins to reflect on how he will do it a counterorder comes.

- Under no circumstances will Greens want to take center stage when they’re in larger groups. Groups of more than three people would be considered large groups unless the Green knew everyone very well. If you force a Greens into such a situation, he’ll just stare at his feet. Everyone can see how uneasy he is, and the rest of the group will also be stressed. Not good.

- When a Green becomes stressed, he becomes very reserved and almost cold. His body language becomes rigid and closed, and if you’re the one who triggered his stress he won’t have anything to do with you. Some Greens can exhibit strong apathy. They become cold and unsympathetic even towards people whom, in normal circumstances, they care very much about.

- Stress makes Greens insecure and afraid of making mistakes. It can be at work but also at home. If a child gets sick, a Green becomes passive and just looks on, because he’s afraid of doing the wrong thing. He’ll also internalize the blame for the situation and may become completely closed.

- Many Greens end up in a rut of obstinacy or stubbornness, provoking those around them by refusing to change anything. Even when they see that a particular method is not working well, they can refuse to act. It seems strange, but the typical Green stubbornness gets the upper hand and prevents them from doing anything.

- To help a Green manage their stress, allow them to do nothing. Give them free time for things like gardening, sleep, or other forms of relaxation. Maybe something like sending them off to a movie—not with a large group of people, but possibly on their own—or giving them a good book that takes two days to read. They don’t really want to do anything. Let them do nothing until the stress subsides. Then they’ll be back to their normal selves.

- To stress out a Blue, tell him “you don't know what you're talking about,” have the management team make a spontaneous decision, tell him “this could be risky or uncertain, but we're going to go ahead anyway,” surprise him with something like “your in-laws are coming over unannounced,” say ”whoopsadaisy, what happened here?,” tell him “forget about the bureaucracy, let's innovate,” remind him “we simply need to take bigger risks,” surround him with overly emotional people.

- You may think that Blues don’t take criticism personally, but if they believe that the criticism is untrue and unfounded, it can be very hard on them. Not because they’re afraid of conflict, or that your relationship will suffer, but because their sense of perfection is being besmirched.

- A Blue is often okay with change, because he doesn’t ever consider anything completely perfect. But he needs to know the motivations behind the change.

- You should never try to surprise a Blue. Since he may not have communicated his own plans completely, you can create quite a problem.

- If a Blue realizes that he’s in the hands of an organization that pays no attention whatsoever to proper procedures, he can show considerable resistance.

- When a Blue can’t prepare himself in his (sometimes extremely cumbersome) way, it triggers stress. He’s the opposite of spontaneous, and you simply can’t force a Blue to respond to a situation before he’s had time to acquaint himself with the subject. He’ll have so many reservations he won’t be any use.

- Sloppy sentimentality is downright unpleasant. It’s messy and awkward, and a Blue doesn’t like it. Logic is what counts, and if you overlook this, he’ll find it very trying. He’ll make himself scarce, and he’ll never forget that you’re an overly emotional person who doesn’t use your brain in the same way he uses his.

- When a Blue feels stress, many people increase their pace in order to compensate. Not a Blue. He stomps on the brakes. Now isn’t the time for making any mistakes. Those around him can expect constant criticism. He’ll suddenly point out every little mistake he observes—and there are quite a few. He might also become an unbearable know-it-all.

- To help a Blue manage their stress, they need privacy. They must be given time and space to think. They want to analyze the situation and understand the connections, and they need to be given time to do just that. If you give them space, they will come back—eventually. But if they fall too deeply into a funk, you may need to offer them more proactive help.

- When under stress an individual’s normal conduct and behavior are reinforced and exaggerated. A Red becomes even tougher and more aggressive towards those around him, a Yellow becomes more sulky and unstructured, a Green becomes even more passive and noncommittal than usual, and a Blue can become completely closed and split hairs so thin that they’re not even visible to the naked eye.

- Blue is the melancholic person

- Red is the choleric person

- Green is the phlegmatic person

- Yellow is the sanguine person

- Blue is water, Red is fire, Green is earth, Yellow is air

- The dominance trait in any given individual relates to how he approaches problems and deals with challenges.

- Inspiration refers to a person who likes to influence others. A person with this trait will always be able to convince others. In simple terms, you could say that dominance is about acting, and inspiration is about interacting.

- The degree of stability is measured primarily by how receptive an individual is to change. A strong need for stability means a person is resistant to change, while someone who enjoys change will have a lower need for stability. This leads, of course, to a number of specific behavior patterns—like a nostalgic belief in the long-lost “good old days” for instance.

- Analytic ability shows how willing someone is to follow rules and regulations. Of course, this also produces certain characteristics that are interrelated. Here we find those who can’t accept that things go wrong. Quality is important.

- No group should be composed solely of individuals of the same type. Diversity is the only possible route.

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