"Do not believe that he who seeks to comfort you lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life has much difficulty and sadness and remains far behind yours. Were it otherwise he would never have been able to find those words." - Rainer Maria Rilke

Trappings of success—influence, a platform, press, resources, money, even a little notoriety

With success comes the temptation to tell oneself a story, to round off the edges, to cut out your lucky breaks and add a certain mythology to it all

There is no one moment that changes a person. There are many

To go from wanting to be like someone your whole life to realizing you never want want to be like him is a kind of whiplash that you can't prepare for

Who do I want to be? And: What path will I take?

History is also made by individuals who fought their egos at every turn, who eschewed the spotlight, and who put their higher goals above their desire for recognition

Virtue begins with understanding and is fulfilled by courage. We must begin by seeing ourselves and the world in a new way for the first time. Then we must fight to be different and fight to stay different

In order to eliminate warping or curvature, a skilled woodworker slowly applies pressure in the opposite directionn—essentially, bending it straight

"Out of the crooked timber of humanity, nothing can be made straight" - Kant. We never be straight, but we can strive for straighter

You will think less of yourself, be less innvesting in the story you tell about your own specialnness, and as a result, you will be liberated to accomplish the world-changing work you've set out to achieve

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself—and you are the easiest person to fool" - Richard Feynman

Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, your worst enemy already lives inside you: your ego

"Egotist" refers to someone dangerously focused on themselves and with disregard for anyone else

An unhealthy belief in our own importance. Arrogance. Self-centered amition

It's that petulant child inside every person, the one that chooses getting his or her way over anything or anyone else. The need to be better than, more than, recognized for, far past any resonable utility—that's ego. It's the sense of superiority and certainty that exceeds the bounnds og confidence and talent

It's when the notion of ourselves and the world grwos so inflated that it begins to distory the reality that surrounds us

"Self-confidence becomes arrogance, assertiveness becomes obstinacy, and self-assurance becomes reckless abandon" - Bill Walsh

Ego is the enemy of what you want and of what you have: Of mastering a craft. Of building loyalty and support. Of longevity, Of repeating and retaining your success. It repulese advanntages and opportunities. It's a magnet for enemies and errors

'Sick man ignorant of the couse of his malady' - Lecuretius. Especially for successful people who can't see what ego prevents them from doing because all they can see is what they've already done

With every ambition and goal we have, ego is there undermining us on the very journey we've put everything into pursuing

If ego is the voice that tells us we're better than we really are, we can say ego inhibits true success by preventing a direct and honest connection with the world around us

Ego as "a conscious seoaration from." Everything.

We can't work with other people if we've put up walls. We can't improve the world if we don't understand it or ourselves. We can't take or receive feedback if we are incapable of or uninterested in hearing from ourside sources. We can't recognize opportunities—or create them—if instead of seeing what is in front of us, we live inside our own fantasy. Without an accurate accounting of our own abilities compared to others, what we have is not confidennce but delusion. How are we supposed to reach, motivate, or lead other people if we can't relate to their needs—because we have lost touch with our own?

"If you start believing in your greatness, it is the death of your creativity" - Marina Abramović

Just one thing keeps ego around—comfort. Pursuing great work is often terrifyinng. Ego soothes that fear. Replacing the rational and aware parts of our psyche with bluster and self-absorbtion, ego tells us what we want to hear, when we want to hear it

It is a short-term fix with a long-term consequence

At any given time in life, people find themselves at one of three stages. We're aspiring to something, have achieved success, or we have failed

We're aspiring until we succeed, we succeed until we fail or until we aspire to more, and after we fail we can begin to aspire or succeed again

Ego is the enemy of building, of maintaining, and of recovering

Help you suppress ego early before bad habits take hold. to replace the temptations of ego with humility and discipline when we experience success, and to cultivate strength and fortitude so that when fate turns against you, you're not wrecked by failure

Be humble in our aspirationns, gracious in our success, and resilient in our failures

"Buildings that lie so exposed to the weather need a good foundation" - William Penn

Your ego is not some power you're forced to satiate at every turn. It can be managed. It can be directed

It was their sense of reality and awareness that was at the core of their great art

Grounded, circumspect, and unflinchingly real. They were great yet humble

No one is truly successful because they are delusional, self-absorbed, or disconnected

Only when free of ego and baggage can anyone perform to their utmost

When we remove ego, we're left with what is real. What replace ego is rock-hard humility and confidence

Humility and reality are the cure

The path of ambition can be dangerous

"Practice self-control" - Demonicus. Do not fall under the sway of "temper, pleasure, and pain." "Abhor flatterers as you would deceivers; for both, if trusted, injure those who trust them."

"Be affable in your relationns with those who approach you, and nnever haughty; for the pride of the arrogant even slaves can hardly endure. Be slow in deliberationn, but be prompt to carry out your resolves and the best thing which we have in ourselves is good judgement." Constantly train your intellect, "for the greatest thing in the smallest compass is a sound mind in a human body."

Imaine an imbitious personn turning down a chance to advance in responsibilities because he actually wanted to be ready for them

He paid no notice and stuck to his plan

"Be natural and yourself and this glittering flattery will be as the passing breeze of the sea on a warm summer day."

Among men who rise to fame and leadership two types are recognizable—those who are born with a belief in themselves and those in whom it is a slow growth dependent on actual achievement

The ability to evaluate one's own ability is the most important skill of all

Arrogance and self-absorption inhibit growth

You must practice seeing yourself with a little distance, cultivating the ability to get out of your own head. Detachment is a sort of natural ego antidote

For your work to have truth in it, it must come from truth. If you want to be more than a flash inn the pan, you must be prepared to focus on the long term

Though we think big, we must act and live small in order to accomplish what we seek. We will be action and education focused, and forgo validation and status, our ambition will not be grandiose but iterative—one foot in front of the other, learning and growing and putting in the time

With their aggression, intensity, self-absorption, and endless self-promotion, our competitors don't realize how they jeopardize their own efforts

"Those who know do not speak. Those who speak do not know" - Lao Tzu

Talking is always easy

Silence is strength

Silence. The ability to deliberately keep yourself out of the conversation and subsist without its validation. Silence is the respite of the confident and the strong

"Never give reasons for what you think or do until you must. Maybe, after a while, a better reason will pop into your head"

Strategic flexibility is not the only benefit of silence while others chatter. It is also psychology. 'A man's best treasure is a thrifty tongue'

Talk depletes us

Talking and doing fight for the same resources. Talking aloud to ourselves while we work through difficult problems has been shown to significantly decrease insight and breakthroughs

The more difficult task, the more uncertain the outcome, the more costly talk will be and the farther we run from actual accountability

Success requires a full 100 percent of our effort, and talk flitters part of that effort away before we can use it

Doing great work is a struggle. It's draining, it's demoralizing, it's frightening

The greatest work and art comes from wrestling with the void, facing it instead of scrambling to make it go away

Work quietly in the corner. Turn their inner turmoil into the product. Ignore the impulse to seek recognition before they act. Don't talk much

The only relationship between work and chatter is that one kills the other

Plug that hole right in the middle of your face—that can drain you of your vital life force. Watch what happens. Watch how much better you get

Be something different

You can do something—something for your country and for yourself. If you decide you want to do something, you may not get promoted and you may not get the good assignments and you certainly will not be a favorite of your superiors. But you won't have to compromise yourself. You will be true to your friends and to yourself. And your work might make a difference. To be somebody or to do something

"To be or to do? Which way will you go?"

Appearances are deceiving. Having authority is not the same as being an authority. Having the right and being right are not the same either. Being promoted doesn't necessarily mean you're doing good work and it doesn't meann you are worthy of promotion. Impressing people is utterly different from being truly impressive

DUTY, HONOR, COUNTRY vs PRIDE, POWER, GREED

Many of the systems and structures in the military can corrupt the very values they set out to serve

Ego crosses out what matters and replaces it with what doesn't

What's fueling you?

What is your purpose? What are you here to do?

What you choose to do with your time and what you choose to do for money works on you

If your purpose is something larger than you—to accomplish something, to prove something to yourself—then suddenly everything becomes both easier and more difficult. Easier in the sense that you knnow now what it is you nneed to do and what is important to you. Easier in the sense that you don't need to compromise. Harder because each opportunity—no matter how gratifying or rewarding—must be evaluated along strict guidelines: Does this help me do what I have set out to do? Does this allow me to do what I need to do? Am I being selfish or selfless?

"What is it that I want to accomplish in life?" What calling does it serve? What principles govern my choices? Do I want to be like everyone else or do I want to do something different?

Do I need this? Or is it really about ego?

To be or to do—life is a constant roll call

Let No Man's Ghost Come Back to Say My Training Let Me Down

The pretense of knowledge is our most dangerous vice, because it prevents us from getting any better

Plus, minus, and equal. To become great, have someone better that they can learn from, someone lesser who they can teach, and someone equal that they can challenge themselves against

Get real and continuous feedback about what they know and what they don't know from every angle. It purges out the ego that puffs us up, the fear that makes us want to coast. 'False ideas about yourself destroy you. Always stay a student.' Use humility as a tool. Put yourself beneath someone you trust. By accepting others know more than you, you can benefit from their knowledge, seeking them out and knocking down the illusions you have about yourself

A philosopher must know deeply, and also know how little they know

To become great and to stay great, they must all know what came before, what is going on now, and what comes next. Internalize the fundamentals of their domain and what surrounds them. They must be always learning. We must all become our own teachers, tutors, and critics

A true student is like a sponge. Absorbing what goes on around him, filtering it, latching on to what he can hold. A student is self-critical and self-motivated, always trying to improve his understanding so that he can move on to the next topic, the next challenge. A real student is also his own teacher and his ownn critic. There is no room for ego there

'It is impossible to learn that which one thinks one already knows.' - Epictetus. You can't learn if you think you already know. You will not find the answers if you're too conceited and self-assured to ask the questions. You cannot get better if you're convinced you are the best

The art of taking feedback is such a crucial skill in life. We not only need to take this harsh feedback, but actively solicit it, labor to seek out the negative precisely when our friends and family and brain are telling us that we're doing great

To become what we ultimately hope to become often takes long periods of obscurity, of sitting and wrestling with some topic or paradox

Today, books are cheaper than ever. Courses are free. Access to teachers is no longer a barrier—technology has done away with that. There is no excuse for not getting your education

"When student is ready, the teacher appears"

She had purpose. She had direction. She wasn't driven by passion, but by reason

Extra emotions as a burden. Being in control and doing your job and never being 'passion's slave'

Opportunities are not usually deep, virgin pools that require courage and boldness to dive into, but instead are obscured, dusted over, blocked by various forms of resistance

Clarity, deliberateness, and methodological determination

What humans require in our ascent is purpose and realism. Purpose is like passion with boundaries. Realism is detachment and perspective

Passion is about. Purpose is to and for. Purpose deemphasizes the I. Purpose is about pursuing something outside yourself as opposed to pleasuring yourself

Where do we start? What do we do first? What do we do right now? How are we sure what we're doing is moving us forward?

A deliberate, purposeful person operates on a different level, beyond the sway or the sickness. They hire professionals and use them. They ask questions, they ask what could go wrong, they ask for examples. They plan for contingencies. Then they are off to the races. Usually look for feedback onn how the next set can be better. They lock in gains, and thenn get better as they go, often leveraging those gains to grow exponentially rather than arithmetically

Passion is form over function. Purpose is function, function, function

The critical work that you want to do will require your deliberation and consideration

It'd be far better if you were intimidated by what lies ahead—humbled by its magnitude and determined to see it through regardless. Leave passion for the amateurs. Make it about what you feel you must do and say, not what you care about and wish to be

"Above all, not too much zeal." Then you will do great things. Then you will stop being your old, good-inntentioned, but ineffective self

"Great men have almost always shown themselves as ready to obey as they afterwards proved able to command" - Lord Mahon

In the Roman system of art and science, successful businessmen, politicians, or rich playboys would subsidize a number of writers, thinkers, artists, and performers

Anteambulo - "One who clears the path"

What if he could have appreciated the opportunities it offered?

It's a common attitude that transcends generations and societies. The angry, unappreciated genius is forced to do stuff she doesn't like, for people she doesn't respect

We see it in an inability to meet anyone else on their terms, an unwillingness to take a step back in order to potentially take several steps forward

In reality, not only is the apprentice model responsible for some of the greatest art in the history of the world—everyone from Michelangelo to Leonardo da Vinci to Benjamin Franklin has been forced to navigate such a system

Make other people look good and you will do well. Keep your head down, and serve your boss

It's not about kissing ass. It's not about making someone look good. It's about providing the support so that others can be good. Find canvases for other people to paint on. Be an anteambulo. Clear the path for the people above you and you will eventually create a path for yourself

Be sure of a few fundamental realities. 1) You're not nearly as good or as important as you think you are; 2) You have an attitude that needs to be readjusted; 3) Most of what you think you know or most of what you learned in books or in school is out of date or wrong

Attach yourself to people and organizations who are already successful and subsume your identity innto theirs and move both forward simultaneously

Obeisance is the way forward

It reduces your ego at a critical time in your career, letting you absorb everything you can without the obstructions that block others' vision and progress

Seeing what goes on from the inside, and looking for opportunities for someone other than yourself. Finding the direction someone already intended to head and helping them pack, freeing them up to focus onn their strengths. Making things better rather than simply looking as if you are

Franklin was playing the long game, though—learning how public opinion worked, generating awareness of what he believed in, crafting his style and tone and wit

Franklin saw the constant benefit in making other people look good and letting them take credit for your ideas

Bill Belichick thrived on what was considered grunt work, asked for it and strove to become the best at precisely what others thought they were too good for. 'He was like a sponge, taking it all in, listening to everything. You gave him an assignment and he disappeared into a room and you didn't see him again until it was done, and then he wanted to do more'

Franklin would never have been published if he'd prioritized credit over creative expression

Greatness comes from humble beginnings; it comes from grunt work. It means you're the least important person in the room—until you change that with results

"Say little, do much."

Be lesser, do more. Imagine if for every person you met, you thought of some way to help them, something you could do for them? And you looked at it in a way that entirely benefited them and not you

You'd learn a great deal by solving diverse problems. You'd develop a reputation for being indispensable. You'd have countless new relationships. You'd have an enormous bank of favors to call upon down the road

That's what the canvas strategy is about—helping yourself by helping others. Trade your short-term gratification for a longer-term payoff. Whereas everyone else wants to get credit and be 'respected,' you can forget credit

Let the others take their credit on credit, while you defer and earn interest on the principle

Once we fight this emotional and egotistical impulse, the canvas strategy is easy

Come up with the ideas to hand over to your boss. Find people, thinks, up-and-comers to introduce them to each other. Crosswires to create new sparks. Find what nobody else wants to do and do it. Find inefficiencies and waste and redundancies. Identify leaks and patches to free up resources for new areas. Produce more than everyone else and give your ideas away

Eliminate distractions that hinder their progress and focus

The canvas strategy is there for you at any time. There is no expiration date on it either

If you pick up this mantle once, you'll see what most people's egos prevent them from appreciating: the person who clears the path ultimately controls its direction, just as the canvas shapes the painting

'Those who have accomplished the greatest results are those who 'keep under the body'; are those who never grow excited or lose self-control, but are always calm, self-possessed, patient, and polite' - Booker T. Washington

Our own path will in some way be defined by the amount of nonsense we are willing to deal with. It will be tough to keep our self-control

"Lose temper as a refuge from despair" - John Steinbeck

When you want to do something—something big and important and meaningful—you will be subjected to treatment ranging from indifference to outright sabotage. Count on it

It doesn't degrade you when others treat you poorly; it degrades them

You must do nothing. Endure it. Quietly brush it off and work harder. Play the game. Ignore the noise; for the love of God, do not let it distract you. Restraint is a difficult skill but a critical one

It is a timeless fact of life that the up-and-coming must endure the abuses of the entrenched

You're not able to change the system until after you've made it

"A person who thinks all the time has nothing to think about except thoughts, so he loses touch with reality and lives in a world of illusions" - Alan Watts

"If you are not careful, station KFKD will play in your head twenty-four hours a day, nonstop, in stereo" - Anne Lamott

General George C. Marshall refused to keep a diary worried that it would turn his quiet, reflective time into a sort of performance and self-deception. He might second-guess difficult decisions out of concern for his reputation and future readers and warp his thinking based on how they would look

The more creative we are, the easier it is to lose the thread that guides us

Our imagination—in many senses an asset—is dangerous when it runs wild. We have to rein our perceptions in

Living clearly and presently takes courage. Live with the tangible and real. even if it's uncomfortable. Be part of what's going on around you. Feast on it, adjust for it

There's no one to perform for. There is just work to be done and lessons to be learned. in all that is around us

"A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." - C. S. Lewis

Pride blunts the very instrument we need to own in order to succeed: our mind. Our ability to learn, to adapt, to be flexible, to build relationships, all of this is dulled by pride

If you're doing the work and putting in the time, you won't need to cheat, you won't need to overcompensate

Receive feedback, maintain hunger, and chart a proper course in life

If you can't swallow your pride, you can't lead

We must prepare for pride and kill it early. We must be on guard against that wild self-confidence and self-obsession. "The first product of self-knowledge is humility"

"That on which you so pride yourself will be your ruin"

We still have so far to go, that there is still so much to be done

'Don't boast.' There's nothing in it for you

"The best plan is only good intentions unless it degenerates into work" - Peter Drucker

Having an idea is not enough; you must work until you are able to recreate your experience effectively in words on the page

Your job is to produce work

Be both a craftsman and an artist

Trade thinking and talking for working

'You can't build a reputation on what you're going to do' - Henry Ford

'The hard thing isn't setting a big, hairy, audacious goal. The hard thing is laying people off when you miss the big goal... the hard thing isn't dreaming big. The hard thing is waking up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat when the dreaming turns into a nightmare.' - Ben Horowitz

To get where we want to go isn't about brilliance, but continual effort

It's all within reach–for all of us, provided we have the constitution and humbleness to be patient and the fortitude to put in the work

Do it if you're going to do it

"When you are not practicing, remember, someone somewhere is practicing, and when you meet him he will win"

'Blessed are those servants whom the master finds awake when he comes.' You can lie to yourself, saying that you put in the time, or pretend that you're working, but eventually someone will show up

There is no triumph without toil

Make it so you don't have to fake it–that is the key

Everytime you sit down to work, remind yourself: I am delaying gratification by doing this. I am earning what my ambition burns for. I am making an investment in myself instead of my ego. Give yourself a little credit for this choice, but not so much, because you've got to get back to the task at hand: practicing, working, improving

Work is finding yourself alone at the track when the weather kept everyone else indoors. Work is pushing through the pain and crappy first drafts and prototypes

There is work to be done. You know a workman by the chips they leave. It's true. To judge your progress properly, just take a look at the floor

Face our shortcomings honestly and put the time in

What is truly ambitious is to face life and proceed with quiet confidence in spite of the distractions. Let others grasp at crutches. It will be a lonely fight to be real. 'I'm not going to take the edge off. I am going to be myself, the best version of that self. I am in this for the long game, no matter how brutal it might be.' To do, not be

'The worst disease which can afflict business executives in their work is not, as popularly supposed, alcoholism; it's egotism'

Success is intoxicating, yet to sustain it requires sobriety. We can't keep learning if we think we already know everything. We are a small part of an interconnected universe. We have to build an organization and a system around what we do—one that is about the work and not about us

"Every man I meet is my master in some point, and in that I learn of him" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"A persistent cycle of pragmatic learning, experimental adaption, and constant revision driven by his uniquely disciplined and focused will." - Genghis Khan. He was the greatest conqueror the world ever knew because he was more open to learning than any other conquerer has ever been

"As our island of knowledge grows, so does the shore of our ignorance." It takes a special kind of humility to grasp that you know less, even as you know and grasp more and more

With accomplishment comes a growing pressure to pretend that we know more than we do

They connsistently observe and listen, the humble improve. They don't assume, 'I know the way'

No matter what you've done up to this point, you better still be a student. If you're not still learning, you're already dying

Learn from everyone annd everything

The theory of disruption: at some point in time, every industry will be disrupted by some trend or innovation that, despite all the resources in the world, the incumbent interests will be incapable of responding to

Understand how they learn and then set up processes to facilitate this continual education

"Myth becomes myth not in the living but in the retelling" - David Maraniss

"Standard of Performance": What should be done. When. How

Players could not sit down on the practice field. Coaches had to wear a tie and tuck their shirts in. Everyone had to give maximum effort and commitment. Sportsmanship was essential. The locker room must be neat and clean. There would be no smoking, no fighting, no profanity

Standard of Performance was about instilling excellence

If the players take care of the details, "the score takes care of itself." The winning would happen

He was also humble enough to know that when victory would happen was not something he could predict

Writing your own narrative leads to arrogance

Narratives don't change the past, but they do have the power to negatively impact our future

Once you win, everyone is gunnning for you. It's during your moment at the top that you can afford ego the elast

'Don't try to buy at the bottom and sell at the top. This can't be done—except by liars'

Reducing it to a narrative retroactively creates a clarity that never was and never will be there

When we are aspiring we must resist the impulse to reverse engineer success from other people's stories. When we achieve our own, we must resist the desire to pretend that everything unfolded exactly as we'd planned

"The way to do really big things seems to be to start with deceptively small things"

You start with a small bet and iteratively scale your ambitions as you go

"Keep your identity small." Make it about your work and the principles behind it—not about a glorious vision that makes a good headline

A great destiny is great slavery

Success is rooted in work, creativity, persistence, and luck

Instead of pretending that we are living some great story, we must remain focused on the execution—and on executing with excellence. We must shun the false crown and continue working on what got us here

"To know what you like is the beginning of wisdom and of old age" - Robert Louis Stevenson

We start out knowing what is important to us, but once we've achieved it, we lose sight of our priorities. Ego sways us, and can ruin us

We think 'yes' will let us accomplish more, when in reality it prevents exactly what we seek. All of us waste precious life doing things we don't like, to prove ourselves to people we don't respect, and to get things we don't want

It doesn't matter how well you're doing; your ego and their accomplishments make you feel like nothing

Know who you're competing with and why

Only you know the race you're running

Far too often, we look at other people and make their approval the standard we feel compelled to meet, and as a result, squander our very potential and purpose

The sense of our own path and how to stay on it without getting distracted by all the others that intersect it. It's not about having more than others. It's about being what you are, and being as good as possible at it, without succumbing to all the things that draw you away from it. It's about going where you set out to go. About accomplishing the most that you're capable of in what you choose

Sit down and think about what's truly important to you and then take steps to forsake the rest

Why do you do what you do?

We all occasionally find ourselves in the middle of some project or obligation and can't understand why we're there. It will take courage and faith to stop yourself

Find out why you're after what you're after. Ignore those who mess with your pace

'One of the symptoms of approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important' - Bertrand Russell

With success, particularly power. come some of the greatest and most dangerous delusions: entitlement, control, and paranoia

Achieving success involved ignoring the doubts and reservations of the people around us. It meant rejecting rejection. It required taking certain risks

Persistence and courage in the face of ridiculous odds are partially irrational traits

You've got to get yourself—and your perceptions—under control

A smart man or women must regularly remind themselves of the limits of their power and reach

"He who indulges empty fears earns himself real fears" - Seneca

"It is not enough to have great qualities; we should also have the management of them" - La Rochefoucauld

What matters is that you learn how to manage yourself and others, before your industry eats you alive. Micromanagers are egotists who can't manage others and they quickly get overloaded

Responsibility requires a readjustment and then increased clarity and purpose. First, setting the top-level goals and priorities of the organization and your life. Then enforcing and observing them. To produce results and only results

"If I am not for myself who will be for me? If I am only for myself, who am I?" - Hillel

Confidence is able to wait and focus on the task at hand regardless of external recognition

We never earn the right to be greedy or to pursue our interests at the expense of everyone else

Who has time to look at a picture of himself? What's the point?

Play for the name on the front of the jersey and they'll remember the name on the back

"A monk is a man who is separated from all and who is in harmony with all" - Evagarius Ponticus

Sympatheia—a connectedness with the cosmos

Who am I? What am I doing? What is my role in this world?

Yes, we are small. We are also a piece of this great universe and a process

Creativity is a matter of receptiveness and recognition. This cannot happen if you're convinced the world revolves around you

Fear is a bad advisor

Master, become sober, do not be deceived by others, don't be deceived by recognition you have gotten or the amount of money in your bank account

You can't solve tasks with charisma

Elimination of the unnecessary and the destructive

If you want to live happy, live hidden

"The evidence is in, and you are the verdict" - Anne Lamott

You must manage yourself in order to maintain your success

Life takes our plans and dashes them to pieces. Sometimes once, sometimes lots of times

'Almost always, your road to victory goes through a place called 'failure'' - Bill Walsh

Whether what you're going through is your fault or your problem doesn't matter, because it's yours to deal with right now

A fragile sense of self is constantly under threat

You have to be able to see past and through. The great failing is "to see yourself as more than you are and to value yourself at less than your true worth."

Stoic resilience. Pity isn't necessary. Their identity isn't threatened. They can get by without constant validation

Live without wasted time

There are two types of time in our lives: dead time, when people are passive and waiting, and alive time, when people are learning and acting and utilizing every second. Every moment is a choice: alive time or dead time

Think of what you have been putting off. Issues you declined to deal with. Systemic problems that felt too overwhelming to address. Dead time is revived when we use it as an opportunity to do what we've long needed to do. This moment is not your life. But it is a moment in your life

What they chose to think about make them worse and not better

This is an opportunity for me. I am using it for my purposes. I will not let this be dead time for me

The less attached we are to outcomes the better. When fulfilling our own standards is what fills us with pride and self-respect. When the effort—not the results, good or bad—is enough

Life is not a fairy tale

Change the definition of success. "Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming." - John Wooden

"Ambition means tying your well-being to what other people say or do...Sanity means tying it to your own actions" - Marcus Aurelius

Do your work. Do it well. Then let go and let God

Recognition and rewards—those are just extras. Rejection, that's on them, not on us

We can't let externals determine whether something was worth it or not. It's on us

The world is indifferent to what we humans "want." If we persist in wanting, in needing, we are simply setting ourselves up for resentment or worse. Doing the work is enough

The bigger the ego the harder the fall

"We cannot be humble except by enduring humiliations"

From the ruin came the opportunity for great progress and improvement

"The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills." The world can show you the truth, but no one can force you to accept it

We're so afraid to lose our own esteem or, the esteem of others, that we contemplate doing terrible things

Change begins by hearing the criticism and the words of the people around you. It means weighing them, discarding the ones that don't matter, and reflecting on the ones that do

You can change, or you can deny

"A team, like men, must be brought to its knees before it can rise again." Vince Lombardi

"It can ruin your life only if it ruins your character" - Marcus Aurelius

Is this the person I want to be?

The problem is that when we get our identity tied up in our work, we worry that any kind of failure will then say something bad about us as a person

Act with fortitude and honor. If you cannot reasonably hope for a favorable extrication, do not plunge deeper. Have the courage to make a full stop

A good team does its best to complete the game at the highest standard possible

Most trouble is temporary...unless you make that not so. Recovery is not grand, it's one step in front of the other

When we lose, we have a choice: Are we going to make this a lose-lose situation for ourselves and everyone involved? Or will it be a lose...and then win?

You will lose in life. It's a fact

We're failing. With wisdom, we understand that these positionns are transitory, not statements about your value as a human being

"He who fears death will nnever do anything worthy of a living man" - Seneca

He who will do anything to avoid failure will almost certainly do something worthy of a failure

Killing what you love because you can't bear to part from it is selfish and stupid. If your reputation can't absorb a few blows, it wasn't worth anything in the first place

You're not as good as you think. You don't have it all figured out. Stay focused. Do better

Hold themselves to a standard that exceeds what society might consider to be objective success. Don't much care what other people think; care whether they meet their own standards. Standards are much, much higher than everyone else's

Put their heads back down and focused on how to get even better

This isn't necessarily fun. It can feel like self-inflicted torture sometimes. But it does force you to always keep going, and always improve

Your potential, the absolute best you're capable of—that's the metric to measure yourself against. Winning is not enough. People can get lucky and win. No everyone is the best possible version of themselves

Being honestly able to be proud and strong during the occasional defeat. When you take ego out of the equation, other people's opinions and external markers won't matter as much

Thinnk of the times that you've excused your own with 'no one will know'

Holding your ego against a standard makes it less and less likely that excess or wrongdoing is oging to be tolerated by you. It's not about what you can get away with, it's about what you should or shouldn't do

It's a harder road at first, but one that ultimately makes us less selfish and self-absorbed. A person who judges himself based on his own standards doesn't crave the spotlight the same way as someone who lets applause dictate success. A person who can think long term, doesn't pity herself during short-term setbacks. A person who values the team can share credit and subsume his own interests in a way that most others can't

Smash it with continually higher standards

We're inching our way toward real improvement, with discipline rather than disposition

The paradox of hate and bitterness. It accomplishes almost exactly the opposite of what we hope it does

Attempting to destroy something out of hate or ego often ensures that it will be preserved and disseminated forever

The more successful or powerful we are, the more there will be that we think we need to protect in terms of our legacy, image, and influence. If we're not careful, we can end up wasting an incredible amount of time trying to keep the world from displeasing or disrespecting us

You know what is a better response to an attack or a slight or something you don't like? Love.

"Hate will get you every time"

At the very least try to let it go. Try to shake your head and laugh about it

The soul that is within me no man can degrade. I am not the one that is being degraded on account of this treatment, but those who are inflicting it upon me

Instead of hating their enemies, they feel a sort of pity and empathy for them

Hate was a burden and love was freedom. Love was transformational, hate was debilitating

"Hate at any point is a cancer that gnaws away at the very vital center of your life and your existence. It is like eroding acid that eats away the best and the objective center of your life"

Where has hatred and rage ever really gotten anyone?

Are we going to be miserable just because other people are?

'I don't like work—no man does—but I like what is in the work—the chance to find yourself' - Joseph Conrad

"People learn from failures. Seldom do they learn anything from success. See much, study much, suffer much, that is the path to wisdom"

Wisdom or ignorance? Ego is the swing vote. Aspiration leads to success. Success creates its own adversity. And adversity leads to aspiration and more success. It's an endless loop

Unless we use this moment as an opportunity to understand ourselves and our own mind better, ego will seek out failure like true north

Self-awareness was the way out and through

Not to aspire or seek out of ego. To have success without ego. To push through failure with strength, not ego

"There is something of a civil war going on within all of our lives. There is a recalcitrant South of our soul revolting against the North of our soul. And there is this continual struggle within the very structure of every individual life" - Martin Luther King

Everyday we must sweep

Yes, we all have potential within us. We all have goals and accomplishments that we know we can achieve

The problem is when ego intrudes on these pursuits, corrupting them and undermining us as we set out to achieve and accomplish

Any fool can learn from experience. The trick is to learn from other people's experience

We don't so much gain the knowledge of things by the words, as words by the experience of things

It's admirable to want to be better businessmen or businesswomenn, better athletes, better conquerors. We should want to be better informed, better off financially... we should want to do great things

Being better people, being happier people, being balanced people, being content, humble and selfless

Perfecting the personal regularly leads to success as a professional, but rarely the other way around. Working to refine our habitual thoughts, working to clamp down on destructive impulses, these are not simply the moral requirements of any decent person. They will make us more successful; they will help us navigate the treacherous waters that ambition will require us to travel. And they are also their own reward

Every day for the rest of your life you will find yourself at one of three places: aspiration, success, failure. You will battle the ego in each of them. You will make mistakes in each of them. You must sweep the floor every minute of every day. And then sweep again